Rodricksssss

Love story

2008-10-22T23:38:00.003+08:00

Every nights is the same old story. Im sick of it. I cause it, u cause it. It takes two hands to clap, cliche but come on, its the damn truth.

Sorry for the negative externalities...i cant imagine hw it feels like to b in ur position. Just sitting there, inevitably eaves-dropping. Im sorry to put u through that.

How long more of this i can take? Im not sure, i just hope that its long enough for things to change.

Never would i have thought that what *** said wld come true. Worse, it applied to ME. If happened to me...damn. I really never thought that that would happen. I guess i was too happy then, in that overrated "honeymoon period". Damn.

Regret

2008-10-20T15:40:00.004+08:00

I kinda regret posting that post about my sis. It was a thoughtless and in the moment kind of post, but well not the ENTIRE thing was bitching right? Well, i gave it some thought, altho i love it here. Really i do, im also going to post on my Livejournal. *wah peer pressure! hahaa no la, its kinda nice there too. So i m going to alternate here and there and everywhere.

http://raggae.livejournal.com

That's my LJ, i kinda linked it to my "chicks" as well. Hai studying and playing typing race on FB at the same time. well back to studying for econs -_-" cant believe im re-living A'lvels subjects again, ugh :p

For those who haven't seen my permed hair, well here are some pics :) The reason for perming's cause im sick and tired of rebonding, sitting in the hair dressers for 6 hours straight staring at my reflection and reading magazines. So i decided to take a risk and go back to my roots (literally) with my curly hair.

The only way is to think lowly of others

2008-10-17T00:18:00.005+08:00

Im not trying to degrade anyone here, but im just speaking the truth. I tried this, it helped and its still helping. Whenever you get into a fight with someone, e.g. Someone who is so hard headed and stubborn and childish, the only way you can relieve your anger without killing her is to talk to yourself! It doesn't really help for the first few seconds, but i promise within a minute, you start to feel like a better person.

The reason y im posting this is cause i just got out of an argument with my sis. It's so retarded cause i made sure to start off politely, asking whether she used powder. Her reply was yes. So i told her, oh ok cause your powder dropped all over my patent bag and its causing it to lose its shine. Next time you use powder can you try standing farther away? Note: tone was light, purposely ditched the harsh, accusing tone. From this point, i practically didn't even have the chance to speak. She kept saying i ACCUSED her of putting powder on my bag and that she deliberately stood there to put powder on my bag. Hello...do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? At this point i was thinkin...hai isn't this how all our convos turn out? No matter how lightly i start it, she gets defensive and starts interrupting me non-stop so that i wouldn't even get the chance to utter anything.

* Point * A view from a professor, he mentioned something along these lines. Those that interrupt you when you are speaking feel that you are superior to them, and thus not willing to give you the respect to even speak.

After reading that, i was enlightened. My sis does not have any respect for me at all. Well at times i do do that to certain ppl, those i shall not mention. But i shall change, knowing that i very well do not like being disrespected. So after i TRIED salvaging the convo, i calmed myself down to talk her into LISTENING to what i said instead of creating little scenarios in her tiny brain. It went on well, so i tried once again to lighten the mood and said "Hey! there's a new game on facebook called Typing Game which is really fun."

She didn't reply for bout 20 seconds and then walked out and said "These kind of games are such a waste of time"

Well my point for posting this is that, i almost pointed my finger at her and punched my fist into the wall cause i was so angered by her childish nature and her limited attempt to even act like an adult. Gosh how is she EVER going to carry out a proper convo with anyone in the future?! So to restrain from hurting myself, i thought, Hey! why not turn this anger to positive energy. So i downplayed HER. I made it seem as if i was the more mature and sensible one here whereas she took on the role of the retarded imbecile. So i felt better after that.

Ok so she just returned from her shower and shes acting normal and so am i. FYI, this is not a target to her but its just a way of handling anger. Cause i have to admit i do have a bad temper :p

Curled and fuzzy

2008-10-12T02:18:00.003+08:00

well im nt jus talkin bout my hair, its more of my life in general. Things are not gg smoothly. Firstly i failed my symmetry and crystals module (FIY: its a chem module). Basically i suck at science and have no interest whatsoever to study therefore its my fault that i failed. But one thing that puzzles me is...they say university allows students to "Zoom in" on their career path, for me its Mass communication. So y MUST we take contrasting electives. I understand modules like Business, Economics, English Lit will definitely help in broadenin ones knowledge, but CHEMISTRY? Get REAL. Thinking of posing this question to smeone who actually knows how to reply, cause for me, i find it completely redundant n even detrimental to my overall GPA. Did i mention, since i failed chem (which is 3AUs) i have to double up nxt semester? *$^#^&*$&# -Curses-
Well on the fuzzy side, i dont know whether to blame P.M.S or myself or maybe even the relationship, cause im feeling that smething is jus not rite. Something. Communicating jus feels so different, so difficult. Time together just flies pass (ok may be good, cause we r enjoying ourselves) but...something...something i cant put my pinkie on. not even my pinkie toenail can grasp what im feeling. Well lets jus wait for the P.M.S to float over first, then will i get a clearer picture of this fuzziness.
Daddy's bday on fri was so enjoyable. Except that i fought with my sis. but we always fight so nothing new la. The only sad part was having to pangseh grace and shikins shopping trip to Bugis. the only consolation for missing that is to think of e money i saved -_-" doesnt help cause i rather have clothes!!! Still, family first. So we went to a quaint (n expensive =( ) restaurant, food was sooo fantastic, and sooo not worth but well when ur with ur parents, who really cares bout the bill rite? it jus comes and goes =p God will punish me for sayin that. Went hme to a fantastic Cedele Walnut Carrot Cake that me n my sis bought in the early afternoon along with daddys XXL polo Tees. hahah yea his tummy is huge. Took sme pics, but my hair sucks so im contemplating putting it up.
Maybe some other time :p

Its not death but i have to b strong

2008-09-30T00:27:00.003+08:00

I hold back my tears cause i noe u have it much rougher than me. How can i weep for something that is not a problem to me? Am i such a little bugger inside, with no stand for life's daily obstacles. Or do i just feel too much for you, seeing you in such a state. Now physically but emotionally. You hide it from me, and i will do my ultimate best to hide it from you. It is what you deserve.

That's jus what im feeling right now, so so sorry if it makes utterly no sense at all. My emotions has spurred me to make an entry...i just cant keep it to myself anymore. Yet, no one will noe about this issue from my mouth. I have to overcome my biggest weakness and that is to keep my mouth shut. I hope things change for the better. One year is a long time, but i will be there for you, just don't give up on me. I will not tolerate it...especially not from you.

try to wirte a letter, in ink.

2008-09-23T00:00:00.010+08:00

well it has been a long time since i've last blogged but yea i have been busy...playing facebooks "word challenge" ! its fun and addictive. the bowling buddies application is so awesome too haha. well. thinking of making this drastic change to myself. yes i have finally dug up e courage to curl my hair. bring back the natural roots... i look older, sadly. but better to look old when ur young than old when ur damn old. hahaha. i only live once anyway =(

im really so happy for my bestie rite nw =) really so happy. i bet she must have felt e exact same way i am feeling nw when i gt attached to my own... i never cld understand the meaning of feeling genuinely happy for someone. to b honest i found it hard to. jealousy consumed me...or pity for myself disabled me. but this time i truly feel proud for her....take care bestie. good things will come ur way =)

well i have lots of work to do. so super sian to even touch it...hai. keep tellinm myself i can finish it haha. wad a joke. i obviously cant =p better get started by 1 am. its alrdy 12.56am . damn. hahah thats a sign rite...im so living in denial. hahaha...alrighty mates. toodles.

When intimacy meant more than sex

2008-08-21T21:47:00.002+08:00

Well its been a hell-ofa-week. ok it wasnt but it felt so long and painful...prob cause my mind was so so preoccupied with the stupid symmetry and crystals test we had to take on weds, scored a C/C+, have no idea wad that means. So my brain remained pretty jumbled till this morning, so shagged i didnt feel like gg for lect till i gt roomie-pressured (sincerely thank you krystal). Now back at hme...ponned econs lect *shhh* ...guess i jus cldnt get thru another lect. have to do sme catching up by myself sme other time.

Firstly, no this is not about sex (esp nt with anuaar) haha...and amazingly this topic itself doesnt revolve around him either! *wow! haha, its way more serious. dont get me wrong im nt saying our relationship aint serious. Damn im driving myself into a freakin corner here! Its bout family. ok NOW u understand. haha, apparently its nt laughing matter. My beloved mother sent me home from sch, all the way in tuas (the gesture i failed to appreciate for many many years) aft a long day at work. And i felt that i shld at least show both my phy n mental presence in the car. So i started talking...n boy trust me it was a loooonnnngggg journey so i talked. The topic veered and meandered to touchy topics n i guess it hit a spot, prob mre like a button she wanted smeone to push for a VERY long time.

She literally opened and told me many things, starting with the obvious (money issues) and sinking to the deeper, more buried secrets she held to herself. Those buried under that smile she manages to paste on everyday as she climbs up the stairs to greet our stoic faces. Our voices cracked with every proceeding sentence, obviously tryin to avoid hitting the trigger that unlocks our tears. We didnt wan2 cry! No way...not in front of your own child/daughter. And for me, not in front of my mother. The more she shared, the more i pushed for her to listen to my solutions. Try this mummy...we cant give up, not when he needs us most. Not now.

But her well of patience was obviously drier than a poor mans bank account. Yet, I'm telling (and by telling i mean deluding) myself that there is still hope, i believe that there is some love left.some. I thought i cld escape all this heartache by pushin myself further from home...but im so wrong. im closer than i will ever be.We ended on a very cold note, one which ended once our door opened. As if we didnt wan2 bring this issue, this pain into our home.To protect it. Throughout the conversation, we pushed our luck to find out more from each other, knowing when to stop and when to push even harder. i was willing to give out mre candy but she is still, after all, my mother and i cant cross the line. NOT the line.

We went our separate ways aft the talk, back to our rooms. I shed tears, ok POURED tears. The reality hit me way too hard, the pain i've failed to detect whenever i looked into her eyes. Or do i ever look into her eyes?

They say that when you are afraid of someone, you will not be able to look straight into their eyes. But i am not afraid of my own mother, i fear the truth.

Yeahhh...i admire ur hypocrisy too

2008-08-17T00:48:00.002+08:00

well as they say "shit happens" but oh well, i gt shit smashed into my face (no, not literally) today when i was out with a clique. found out smt tt wasnt music to my ears...in fact i really felt soooo duped. felt like an idiot to b honest. so me being me, i had to find out the FULL story, every word of it. so i went to read it...and well i didnt like wad i saw. i swear i can sue for e defamation of my name. i mean look at wad xia xue n dawn whatever is getting into nw...well at least they have money to sue, for me its more of resorting to...uh...verbal violence? oh well, i guess i just hate seeing vulgarities linked to my name. at least its lolagocked (usage of G language, sry) so the whole wrld doesnt see it. OH and al least those who read it dont noe me, or well lets jus say u wldnt b too popular aft tt post. so those supporting u, well lets jus say they dont noe e full story yea? u can humour urself in tt category.
im literally feelin so stupid right nw, cant imagine hw u cld look me in the eye. such hypocrisy, wow i guess EVERYONE does that huh. its inevitable i guess.everyone does it UNINTENTIONALLY. actually the whole issue is really nt my fault. like dude,we r friends...hai oh well at least i still have my friends around me. urs r dropping like flies =p

Always be my Baby

2008-08-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

well nw tt im back in sch, n im prob stuck with my laptop (n krystal- my roomie) for a large proportion of my sch life, i wil b talkin to myself here mre often! yay im promoting insanity.well spilt apple juice while talkin to my baby n nw my tables all sticky (may be my imagination) even aft i've cleaned the shit up. the weird thing was tt he was drinkin apple juice at e very same time hahah, sry i jus find tt so amusing.
we had a little tiff today...its simple n e blame is mre or less leanin towards my side.
Sleepy+Hungry+Pangsehed = ?????
i bet u dont need much help there huh. as if all those combined r nt bad enuf =p yeaaa anyway, i dont noe y but all CS lects seem so fun n funny. no not kidding, its really funny! the lecturers r such jokers, sarcasm is key for a good joke.well my roomie konked out at like 10.55pm (im ashamed of her). i mean even if we r nt
havocing, at least look cool by stayin up late rite (duh) hahaha, ok was tt funny?
pretty stressed bout stars (no its nt as pretty as it sounds) its e devil. *demon shit...camping like a snipe-r but to no avail so i might as well turn in huh. haha at least i outlasted my roomie, which is nt smt to BOAST about but oh well i will hold this prize close to my heart. hehe.nervous cause duno whens e bowling try-outs for NTU, kinda dont wana noe? haha, im such a useless bugger, afraid of everything. haiz. God give me courage Puhleaseee.

The mood swinging thing

2008-07-31T23:53:00.002+08:00

well i cant exactly say tt things r coated in candy but PMS is soooo getting e better of me. mood swings so extreme tt i feel like im plunging into sme hell-hole. so i sieve thru my e-mail n managed to gather a smile or two, thanks Rossi. received seriously random SMSes (altho those too brought on e mood swings) tt made me gather myself n set myself straight. things tt arent so good in my **** life r beginning to clear up altho i doubt tts e end of it...lets jus say today was sooo turbulent i cld out-action Jet Li in "The Mummy".Movie which i watched today ;) cute light heartered, shld catch it if u have spare time and cash.
heading down to sch tmr, for sme welcome ceremony shit, gt PSed like twice for this shit, ok make it thrice. collecting hostel room key with roommate krystal and others.im jus gg to check out e room, dont get my tone wrng...im mre afraid of u gettin it rite.
at times i jus lean back n take a look at myself ...n i noe tt theres smt terribly wrng with me. im nt prepared for this, i will tell myself from time to time. but i cant tell *** . whats ** supposed to say, hws ** supposed to react. probably a few blank stares n a grin? jealousy, paranoia. i gt to tell me-self to snap out it...i mean if i myself noe tt i have trust issues then shldnt i ... learn to trust? tt doesnt feel rite...hw do u learn tt.damn.
i did smt which im nt proud of, about a week back. i can say i did it for my friends, but im nt proud tt i did it.im really bashing myself up but then again i've been thinkin alot, like alot n i've contradicted/sided myself countless times. so till nw i dont noe hw i feel. maybe i dont care, maybe i do. i think about it everyday, i feel lonely too. i dont noe...mayb i will go read sme parez hilton.

YOUR mind is not always right.

2008-07-01T21:55:00.004+08:00

well everytime i blog i get comments like, omg so emo, y such sad posts and even smses askin me if everything is alright. well i guess i use this an an outlet to jus openly whine bout hw annoying smeone is or hw annoying smt is or hw annoying i am =p hahaha. maybe i smehw wish tt e person im talkin about wld stumble upon my post n get e hint, altho i wld have already hinted (or even told to their faces) countless times. so here goes...

i've known u for so long n well it wld b a waste if i lost u...our friendship. at first i blamed u, completely, for hw many visible cracks appeared in our friendship, but nw im beginning to realise tt theres more to it. much more. its my fault n urs and well i guess we r jus nt putting enuf effort into making it work. when u tell me ur problems, i will listen intently but i will also add my 2 cents worth whether u like it or not. and well im not sayin that my comments r fantastic but smetimes they r meant to wake u up from ur dream world. sadly e closer u are to a person, the harder it is to take any thing from him/her. maybe i hurt ur pride? ur fantasy? but lets jus put it bluntly, im jus tryin to help n i care enough for u. im not gg to b one of those "accepting" friends who swallow everythin u throw at them. im jus hopin tt u wld consider what i say as smt impt n um well sensible? if u want to surround urself with ppl who r willing to accept u for every change u make (the thing here is make, not happen) then ur jus drownin urself with a hell lot of ppl who dont care bout u. those who wont bat an eyelid if they see u in a puddle of ur own ....
well if may seem like im jus finding fault with u all e time...but e truth is even others can see the change ( i shall not name names) and im tired of convicing others to help u anymore. y shld i care bout u when u dont give a shit hole bout me. n let me see, this has been gg on for bout... uh quite sme time? hah. its ur life man...do what u want but dont whine when u get what u didnt plan for.
most youngsters fall into debt at a very young age, sad huh. read it in e papers tt day...living it up to a wealthy lifestyle, spending mre than their income can sustain. well sashay down orchard road with ur branded bags all u can cause it aint gonna last. ur funeral.
well since im gg NTU communication studies (hi vonn, u'll b seeing lotsa me, sorry) im prob stayin in the hostel too. tryin it out for about one sem? if its too torturous livin with a complete stranger/creature, n nt being able to fart whenever i want to then im droppin it aft e first sem. feel really shit rite nw cause i spoke (nt real words but msn words) to a couple of guys n well things r nt so savvy for them...its tough to have ur darling/baby cakes/honey buns/fattybombom leaving ur sight/side to stay in a completely fresh environment with supposedly mre attractive guys around. i feel their pain but what m i supposed to do...its my life too and future.if things r meant to be then it will...so let fate take control. love is so unpredictable.
feeling depressingly moody these few days, guess its triggered by lotsa things ? well at least im leaving for KL sn, at least theres smt to look forward to haha. all is not lost...i hate the army.

sweetness doesnt last forever

2008-04-23T13:47:00.002+08:00

its gg to b a short post...want to say things quick n therefore make things painless.
our negetivity allows me to foresee a failure in whatever we r tryin to achieve together. delusion n denial wont help but i will do it if u want me to...im literally bursting inside n i want to clear e air cause e cloudiness in my brain is gg into my bloodstream n i swear im gg to die. i want us to last forever but it seems like its doomed. my own negetivity aside, i want to address e fact tt we may get thru this together.may. but when theres hope many things can happen.
typically guys dont like to talk n i seem like a freaking annoying persistent little bitch rite nw but im ready when u r. theres no point rushing it or gg thru this when one party is unhappy n unwilling. things wont turn out rite.
Race. Religion. e two things i hid from ever since we existed. i nvr thought we were a match made in heaven (cause our heavens' r diff anyway) but i fell into delusion n well nw tt reality slapped us both in face i do not think running away can solve anything.
imagine if we get thru this period successfully. everything wld b peachy keen for us both. jus imagine. jus b positive.
i dont wana lose u either.

the things i fear

2008-04-06T15:31:00.002+08:00

firstly typos tt occur here on this page is due to my short sightedness n my lazy-ness to get n wear my specs cause aft this im gg to slp =p watched Oprah n well learnt tt i shld start a day by askin myself what i really really really want. e 3 reallys r there to make sure u answer tt question thinking bout what u really want. not smt like oh money. or oh to b happy. but more like wad makes u happy.ur supposed to make a journal of it n fill it in daily, but well if im too lazy to get my specs im prob too lazy to write in e morn =p so i trust my fantastic memory to keep track of it all. i will prob forget it all by like, tomorrow =
anyway alot of things have been happening to dampen my alrdy very bleh mood. like i bowled quite terribly on sat...but managed to at least scrap past e 150+ average. thank e Lord. then later on saw a face of a person tt i absolutely ABHOR which ruined my mood even tho i had such a fantastic time playin CS. blame my morning-grouchyness syndrome,i jus get annoyed easily in e morn. well her face ticked me off, so my brain started driftin to other problems bout her n well i jus worked myself up into a fit. n my poor "dar;ing" had to take it all. damn.
PMS
today fought with my mom over e ARRANGEMENT of e table n so she stormed off leaving me n my dad more food to eat n no transport home. so we bitched n moaned bout my moms mood swings over lunch n then strolled home. sometimes i dont noe wad i wood do without my dad. now tt brings me to a another topic which is bothering me. my dad has a lump on e left side of his neck n well being a smoker(heavy one) im terribly worried it might b cancer. i will not elaborate cause wad im feeling right nw cannot b expressed in words. its jus too much.
no mood to do anything but slp today, or maybe because im so goddamntired from CS this morn =p only slpt at 9 n woke up at 11...hai 2 freaking hours. wtf.
im pissed, tired n annoyed. damn i sound jus like my mom. good night

my heart cant rest till then

2008-03-18T15:06:00.002+08:00

wow this is like one of e rare few times tt im so totally bored tt im blogging =p really feels so...fulfilling. haven typed in this box for a lng time..haha. well heard lots of things bout uni n hw sme things might nt last cause of uni. i guess i cant be 100% confident tt things will be safe n everyones gg to bn happy but i jus dont wana think bout it. i mean if i allow such thoughts to run thru my mind then isnt it jus sabotaging myself? so yea i really thank you for ur insightful comments and i appreciate hw frank u can b with me but e future will decide itself regardless hw powerful ur premonitions r =) ok the smile may seem bitchy but trust me im nt a jellyfish.hahaha.
well hav i mentioned hw badly tainted my impression of bangkok is hahaa.sry im jus feeling bitter. its a sleaze paradise i swear. but either way me n pre will prob end up in a stripper bar watching wh***s get it on on stage, cause we r ladies n we can watch such shows without having having e urge for a one-night stand ;) well one things for sure, i have to correct my views on prostitutes. read it somewhere in e New Paper that of all the china pros. tt went for a HIV check up, none tested positive and honestly ( thanks to my stereotypical mind) i was shocked n felt tt i had to eat my words, n swallow it! i believed tt loose women (all in fact) are prob carriers of STDs and therefore can b labelled as dirty. i noe wad im saying here is rude n insensitive but well there is no buts. im jus lying on my bed enjoyin e wireless service so im pretty stoned n everythin im typin nw is pure honesty.
people change and its sad.as friends we shld accept them and grow with their changes but can i say that its freakin hard? alot of ppl do not understand y i get so worked up n affected but wont u if e person changing(nt for e better may i add) is ******** ? sry i hav to censor tt. its to protect e identity of *stacey (name has been changed) . stacey is so oblivious to my hints, forgivable. but i have come clean with everything on my mind to her n still she takes is more lightly than a pinch of salt. tell me, when hav i ever confronted anyone bluntly about hw i feel bout them. never. so as a "b*****" cant u jus take me seriously? if u dont then i dont think u r wad u tag urself to b. ugh. trust me im nt e only one who thinks this way...im nt sayin everyone thinks like me, but there r a handful out there.except a few devils advocate who choose to stand by ur side jus to justify everythin u do for e sake of annoying me =) if he reads this im so dead =p
dont really noe wad to feel at this moment. im even going to e extent of forgettin u to make it less difficult for me. trust is so freaking impt n i hate it so much. my trust have been betrayed in the past, by ppl who mean so much to me tt nw in e present i hold it back to myself so as to prevent myself from gettin hurt.ppl have supported, lectured and nagged me for doing so but hey nt everyone is perfect. its very difficult for me to trust, sme ppl mayb too willing to trust every person tt comes their way n well isnt it their weakness? im so freaking selfish =s

the shit i get myself into

2008-02-15T21:04:00.003+08:00

fuck
sometimes i really wonder hw i can get myself into a whole lotta shit jus by openin my mouth. y is it so freakin lethal. i shld seriously learn to jus shut up. got myself into deep fried dung n man was it hard. i mean for once im dealing with e real world. no more sch or CCA activities where ur a rebellious student tryin to fight for ur right... that was the paradise compared to wad reality is really like...
got to toughen up, cant cry like a little girl n hope for sympathy to come ur way. no wonder he was nt as friendly as he usually was when i was leaving. my only consolation is that i cleared e air (nt easy tho, had to use e mouth tt gt me into shit to get me OUT of it ) n i hav a hell lot to learn from this drama serial. at least i learn nw instead of 10 yrs later where e managers r multi-millionares n when they sack u u will hav to mortage ur home cause u hav to support ur family.
one day all my self-denial is gg to send me straight to hell...im jus mentally killin myself, bit by bit. one day reality will hit me so hard, even hell will freeze over. feeling much better cause i spoke to nic n shu bout this whole thing, appreciate their honesty with me, made me trust their remarks =) hai, hope this thing doesnt blow up to mount everest. i think its alrdy quite an ice berg. i cant handle another blow.

H.A.T.E

2007-09-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

SMOKING + ALCOHOL
what's with these two jackasses anyways. ok i can spare alcohol the "beating" as consuming it in moderation (and i mean NOT exceeding the amnt where u completely lose control of yourself) is still "safe", but nonetheless, these two are complete BITCHES.
ok don't ask, there is obviously a reason behind my sudden inclination to bitch bout them. sorry, im not giving an explanation either...
well for some "queer" reason, i foresee (aldric correct nt? :p) myself dying of lung cancer 40 yrs down the road. you know why? im a passive smoker. suay rite? i kao-bei-ed and whined and acted cute, trust me i tried everything. i even preached to help my loved ones/one to stop but whats the point...once a smoker, always a smoker? im "shot" down with a litany of reasons like "oh it's cold" (i'm cold too), "if i dont i will feel like puking" "i will be grouchy" "you only care for YOUR own health"
I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I. (no thats not a new smiley face) what's with the selfishness and the complete disregard of those around you and those who love you enough to give a shit bout you to make deals with you. what's blinding you?! nicotine? tar? tabacco? does it MEAN so much to you...?
BITCH (no.2) , no jiayi, not THAT bitch ;) i will tho, one day (for ur eyes only)
you consume this to get high... no points for gettin that right.high,yea i've been there, e feelings great. your so detached from the world and yet you are surrounded by people, laughing, having fun. ok i understand, we're young, life's a bitch so might as well have fun now. yea. but what's with getting wayyyyyy (and i mean WAY) hung over? a completely harmless loving gentle person can be transformed into a monster. everyone's hurt, no ones happy. Alcohol is e most fucked up bitch (yes JY worse than THAT bitch) i have ever met in my life.Once too much of it's taken, things go bad.i have seen it tear families apart, change ppl, it just doesnt bring laughter anymore...i dont get why a liquid like THAT can be sold in singapore. i mean divorce rates, screw the filthy excuses of "empowerment of women" and whatnot. its alcohol.
barely did i manage to enjoy my post-prelim period.i dont blame anyone...in fact i almost blame myself. if i got off my ass and walked down, nothinf wld have happened.if i shut her mouth. nothing wld have happened. if i stopped you before... yea u guessed it. repetition right? a sign of...self pity. im leaving... :

pessimism, hai thats my "gift"

2007-09-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

im going to be a fortune teller, i swear. blame it on my negativity but i can foresee what's going to happen. as u can tell, im ~~blurring~~ the lines a little here...making it harder for ur neurons to make e link.
i keep telling myself "hey dont think of e situation in such a negative light, things are going to turn out fine" but well, it seems that the "Voice of Optimism" in my head is a freaking lousy piece of ~~shit~~ and have proven to be a failure ever since i started believing in it :\ anyways i see this "gift" as a good thing cause at least i can mentally prepare myself for the worse things in life that are headed my way...
at least i know that im not going to die of a heart attack. thats one thing i can strike off from my " 10-ways-to-die" list :)

ok people...don't laugh :p

2007-09-04T18:28:00.000+08:00

ok don't laugh cause i have a confession to make.

recently i've rediscovered Neopets and im addicted :p i seriously miss those stupid games and how pissed off the store owner gets when u haggle like a housewife. they curse u to have warts and i mean isnt this supposed to be a childrens game? sorry to the producers of Neopets but e "wart-cursing" scared me a little. hahaha anyways, tryin to build up my bank account so as feel good bout myself... while buying those adorable snacks for outrageous prices :\ oh yes, studying... feel slightly mre confident bout Econs, but tts what i always say, n my results have been Uhhh for quite sme time haha...i was soooo confident i forgot to attend tution on Monday, SORRY ELROY!!! and we postphoned it to saturday 3pm.

1st september was our 3rd month anniversary :) we have had our fair share of disagreements but other than that i think we are fine. He brought me to Spizza at Newton for "Laura" and we shared wild mushroom soup and a ceasar salad. wow it was such a fantastic meal... i enjoyed myself so much but smehw he gt e vibe tt i didnt... hmmm :\ m i THAT expressionless ?! aft that we watched , shit i cant spell this, Rattaoiue? oh #$%^ it... whoever who thinks they r SOOO cool to be able to spell that, go shoot urself. its jus a NAME of a peasant food anyway =( sry im feeling sry for myself....went hme with zen n darryl. my date went drinking with guy pals, pig. hahaha i love you gummybear

im gg to get this off my chest.

Arent we friends? i know what you are thinking, dont ask me how/why, you shld know.but that day, you guys made it so awkward, and honestly, pissed the shit hole out of me.i completely disregarded u as a friend and maybe its me but im less able to tolerate ur nonsense and crapiness anymore...

"say it to my face, dont say it behind my back" . Thats the most cliched line i've ever EVER heard. Whats e freaking point of saying it to ur face, ears, mother, father, dog, maid, lizard if ur not gg to take it n do (the word is DO) something bout it? i told u for a REASON u noe? D-uh...so u can go have ur pinic under e stars by urselves cause honestly, i dont give a shit anymore.

i'm tired

2007-08-25T22:29:00.000+08:00

yest was such an enjoyable day...it was queer tho. sch sucked so bad cause uh it sucks?slept while waiting for pre n nic n when pre called i woke in such a shock tt for half e day i was plagued with a terrble headache. okkkk reading back, it doesnt sound like such an enjoyable day :p haha well don wry there's a twist. later on went for tuition with David n learnt a hell lot, so it was $50 well spent :) me n Lydia talked for hours till her mom nagged n i forced her to tag my blog haha. we exchanged lots of views n it was really enlightening when u listen to different perspectives, it makes me realise hw limited my scope of "analysis" is.im ashamed :(
aft tt dropped at Parkway to pass sly his notes n took 36 to airport to meet pre! haha it was really cool studyin overnight with her - what an experience. her fren Shawna came down n well i made a fren. shes really sweet (her voice too haha) and u cant believe that sooo much can happen in 6hours :S this was exceptionally surprising, guess who called at 4am? sylvester! haha i seriously cldnt believe tt he actually remembered n bothered to a certain extent haha.i guess he really wanted to see my tolerance level.trust me red bull gives you wings!
6am,me n pre reached our limits, headed hme n today was a tad bit bumpy. well under my "hates" i stated PS (go figure it out) n i really hate tt feeling of being disregarded by a fren.so todays scenario was somewhat a PS-case n yea i gt heated, nt jealous.so i dont regret anything i've said.
Randomness:
lately i've been thinking of alot, a hell lot of things.friendships i wana end, things i wana giv up (even bowling- trust me), people i wana kill, injure my fist by punching a wall (and wallow in self-pity later). there's just so much happening in this time frame n i doubt tt im e only one feeling this way.im sick of makin ppl sad, disappointin ppl, being straightforward and misunderstood/hated.i jus dont get it anymore.dont blame me for not telling u, cause i did. dont blame me for giving up on u, cause i "warned" u...
im tired, no im nt gg to slp, im heading to my econs notes =\

What's this...?

2007-08-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

i dont know why but i dont feel stressed that prelims is jus a week away...for sme queer reason im relatively relaxed cause of the one week "break" in between e pprs. hai i must b crazy :p im supposed to meet nicky for steamboat tonight n well i jus woke up so nw im gg to have lunch then choing sme work so tt e guilty conscious doesnt bother me e whole night haha... im living in denial here.
well yest during sch, was having sme weird headache which wood cme n go and it was really odd cause e weather was so beautiful... mayb my body felt a little stressed out? but that wood jus contradict wad i said *above* =\ lame ass hai...then aft sch had to rush to Lydia's house for math ttn, was really really tired alrdy but had to pull thru that two hours xp almost died.wad i did aft tt was seriously damn "kei kiang" (act smart) n went down to marina bay- victors to study. uh honestly all i managed to do was e annotation for lit (Herland) and aft tt my flame jus died off... i cldnt WAKE UP everytime i saw TNC i wood jus zone off... terrible huh? cldnt wait to go hme, so called daddy. well apparently he was "asleep" so me n zen took cab hme, freaking $8 *sigh*... n when i came hme he was wide awake using the comp to check f***ed up football stats.
that really, really ticked me off.
actually i kinda went to victors so tt i cld see my baby...but we only spent limited time together cause...well studyin n all. then we managed to catch e fireworks which were sooooo damn gorgeous!!! but guess who i watched it with? nic tong. hai i mean tts kinda ironic but im nt gg to explain it...
ok lunch calls me, im sucha pig but...
spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does... hahaha i love homer.

shouldnt i be somewhere else but here?

2007-08-15T21:52:00.000+08:00

hmmm i kinda realised that im not supposed to be blogging at a time like this but i cant help nt ranting... aft my trip to Genting i really felt damn "insulted" by the treatment i receive. i mean the service and all is fantastic but what im annoyed about is on a whole new level. there was this women serving me my food and then she spoke to me in malay askin me whether i wanted to take-away n obviously i didnt understand.then she scoffed at me and said smt in malay that meant "wah she doesnt understand malay". i mean just cause i look malay doesnt mean i understand malay...n her scoof was either at herself for her mistake or at ME for my "stupidity". so i really felt insulted cause her comment made me feel stupid...

anyways Genting was fun and the rides gave me a sore throat with a relatively "raspier" voice and a squeeky laugh :p damn i must sound so irritating haha...hai its 12 days to prelims n i should b scared rite? n altho i am i do not feel "encouraged" to study probably cause i may have subconsciously given up? ok dont talk bout this, its jus makin me depressed and i feel like slapping anyone who asks me anything... im such a grouchy bitch.

on the bighter side of life, my Birks arrived n im freaking happy but the "instant gratification" soon died when reality struck that good things dont come for free *watches $$ fly away* but i will utilise it till it breaks to a million pieces...im such a Singaporean.haha anyways certain things have made me feel e urge to bitch again. im jus sick of hearing "insults" to my face and i know that i am nt everybodies bestie or whatnot but sometimes its best to zip-it. haha i bet this is nt making sense to many but aft connecting neurons, u jus might get it =) ohya the nxt big thing is bout prom n e seating arrangement. i noe its such a childish matter to pursue cause we are CLASSMATES after all so whats the need to chope people who u want to sit with?! i mean if we ARE one big clique, y dont we jus draw lots to see who sits with who. that way we really prove that as a class we really dont mind whoever sits beside us. if my memory serves my right, pre agreed but i guess many will feel this is blowing e issue way out of proportion n honestly, it is hahaha. so forget it. lets jus stick to our cliques ya?

i think my parents kinda forgot the whole attached thing... i hope therefore i think and eventually relating it as a fact :p so we r planning to not do anything bout it till e topic is brought up again. im reallly pushing my luck here but hey no risks no... uh... fun?
when the time comes, i doubt it will be fun Xp

I cant take all this right now

2007-08-04T16:56:00.001+08:00

it has been bad news bad news bad news...i kinda thought things were settled n my parents were cool bout it but well sometimes shit doesnt sink to e bottom. it floats back to e surface. as gross as it sounds, its freakin true...
found out yest night that my parents werent "cool" bout me dating n tried to have a decent "open" conversation with me bout dating a guy of a different religion n how things will get complicated. but well i told them three freakin times that its nt as if we'r gg to get married . so wads e fuss about? i mean im still young n boy was i tempted to say i ventured into "Dating" for experience but that wood probably give my dad a heart failure n send my mom into a fit. so i restrained myself n it was pretty funny to see my parents so nervously concern bout me n tryin to make e situation a little less tensed... i guess im asian n im nt used to these kinds of family discussion :p its odd...
suggested we remain as friends, good friends, for studies, religion and a whole litany of other reasons which i implied from their tone. headache huh? wad im stressed bout right nw is that i cant talk to him bout it...im depressed too, im sad, actually im kinda emotionless,really. jus blanked out cause all this is new to me n to make this relatively (sme ppl may find it an easy decision) big decision by myself n im jus deluding myself thinking tt everything will fall into place for me...im such a dumb ass.
someone slap me.
second "bad" news of e day, i went to e dentist today (oh sry that's not e bad news, i love e dentist) n he told me that my wisdom tooth is out n about but in e wrng direction n this may bring more headaches for me in the near future (meaning A'level period). so dont tell me i have to sit thru A levels with both my cheeks swollen to e size of grapefruits ?! goodness... does God really love me? i know this is not a life/death situation but please...cut me sme crap please? =\
now i have complained my fair share to an empty audience...im contented with it n so i end this post with a...
*Sigh -__-

My minds capacity reached its saturation point

2007-08-04T16:56:00.000+08:00

Shedding off e angst

2007-07-31T18:14:00.000+08:00

well now with a new skin... i hope i "encourage" myself to blog mre often haha even tho its nt really advisable cause prelims is around e corner n if i fail i only hav myself and this blog to blame :p well then i blame e blog haha.
anyways those who, if there r any, who cme here pls do me a tiny favour n click on e add under "cluck this" , it wood help me a great load... n take up a small fraction of ur day =) if i get enuf $$, i might even treat u to a drink (uh non-alcoholic that is) haha... thats e reward ppl !!
Pardon me yea? im jus testing the colours n hw it matches e skin... nt really used to e idea of typin on a blue screen haha... oh anyways enuf of ranting. updatessssssss. hmmm bought a pair of lovely earrings from Calista's only shop called "theshopaddict" at livejournal (ok u noe wad to do) n it was such a thrill cause i like online shoppin... it makes me feel cool haha. im so lame. n ordered Birkenstock, supposed to hav a 15% discount but smewhere along e way it gt reduced to 5%. =\ to clear things it wasnt birkenstocks problem!!! so dont let this change ur mind man... haha. got back e finalised BLOCKTEST2 results... i think i managed to reach 32.5 points IF my geog marks r changed. i have no idea y e teacher registered my geog as a U when im quite sure its an S. but still nothing to b proud of cause with grades like these, i wonder which UNI would take me in. short term wise, i jus hope my mom notices e improvement :p
with all that said... tmr's our 2nd months anniversary n honestly im fretting cause i really duno whether he will like e present i hav in mind for him =( Firstly, i SUCK at getting gifts cause of my hey-days.*sigh* and Secondly, uh... i SUCK at getting gifts! hahah yes same reason same reason, sry im gettin old from stress, i tend to repeat myself, myself.
sigh...wow today i "ponned" sch cause i had what Edith wanted to get - Diarrhoea. painful but relatively fruitful stayin at hme as i gt differentiation done =D damn im bored of e colour alrdy...
wells, a whole week ahead of me n e only thing i can look forward to is my Genting Holiday during the National day break from sch haha... yea. im gg to miss him but i hav his picture in my phone for memory =) n he has my retarded "school uni" portriat photo in his wallet. WoW finally i will get to spend sme quality time with my family (and sadly others) up on a mountain with gooooddd coooold weather...*ahhh*
Bliss.

whoa...its been a long time.

2007-07-21T04:20:00.000+08:00

i swear i have not blogged for ages... i shall not specify the exact time span but it felt like yrs =p well the only thing that has brought this blog back to life is this new Adsense thing tts really cool as it generates income for the blogger so please help me click on those links before u leave ya? then u can link from my blog to google's Adsense to get ur own link so u can generate income while slacking ;) great plan huh? thanks nic hahah... well tt jus proves im a BUM but well... u cant blame me for wanting $$, its human nature =)
well anyways the last time since i've blogged. many things did not happen... times changed and i've gone against sme of my morals. tragic huh? seems like blogging kept me grounded. but NOW im damn pissed cause e STUPID Adsense thing is giving me a hell lot of trouble and its late n im pissy so im gg to slp nw...
=\
lame...

Hopeless Romantic Listener

2007-03-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

i really shldnt be blogging right nw but i jus hav so much to say... haha probably everyone i know thinks tt my blog is stale n rotting but im creeping back dudes haha ! anyways screw it if no one reads, i enjoy talking to myself :p haha anyways jus put down the phone, was talking to PRE was talkin to her bout love n all the things tt i do not noe =) it cracks my heart to listen to these relationships cause its so sweeeeeeetttt i swear its like damn cool to experience such things!

well was jus thinking bout all the things tt sme ppl have said which i really do not agree about n i really have no idea how to respond to such things. compliments. whoa that jus freaks me out. i swear im damn weird. =(

today killed a worm during maths tutorial, shocked till tears flowed :S wah like sme drama serial man, gripped onto shobah n she had to console me telling me tt its dead. math teacher even scolded me for over-reacting. jus wana let her noe that PHOBIA does exist in this pathetic world of ours. yea... it was really embarrassing btw cause tears of fear isnt exactly a sign of strength, more like weakness =\ hai well everyone has a weak spot!

10,000 yrs later...

2007-03-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness... haha its been long? really really long.... well school has officially began after the BTs are over. gg to start studying soon to prepare for BT 2 :p sound crazy huh? but gg to try... at least talk big first haha =D anyways, now that im finally here i dont have anything to say which is so odd... damn . oh wells just feels good to type in this constricted box once again hahaha :D

Gotta find a new template man, im over this angsty period already...

what else is new?

2006-11-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

Guess where i am?

SCHOOL

*gasps* u may say, yes... but to lit student under miss k will not say so cause we have holiday homework!! yayyy smt to spoil our hol with !! a tinge og homework with a spoilt comp at hme... so nw in e comp lab kaobei-ng my heart out ('v') hmmm no one uses that anymore huh? ppl use <3>
lotsa weird shit happened these few days, ppl said i think too much, there were those who said i don think at all, and ppl who jus don think. cause wads a brain for if u do not use it to think? *shobah need nt read this* told her bout it first hand. hahaha yea... at least wen i think "too much" ~~whatever~~ im nt being oblivious to the ppl around me, n who's feeling extra, smts thats me -_-"', and who's the one makin smeone feel extra. u see, i see these kinda things, do u ? not YOU but general. so its kinda saddening that when i think too much its nt good. well so here's e one when smeone said i don think at all! haha well im said to nt get the "butt" of jokes, well i do, but smts it takes time. i do admit sme jokes r too hard to find the "butt". so im called sssloooowwww. haha wad a joke, get it? no u won cause there is no "butt".
so i vented my displeasure to Shobah, my punching pillow and told her bout the weird lks i gt wen i explained to "you think too much" person WHY i think too much ... duno y i explained myself but jus felt that if u wana judge THINK b4 u do. NOW there is a pun implied. see it? those who don, use ur brains a little nxt tym yea =D
yea im being a bitch nw, but i don really care cause isnt blogs an outlet to be a bitch?
well skip e "im a bitch" part n move on to life. supposed to have an outing with the "old clique" nxt tues... have my doubts tt it will work out. failed many times b4... but still have to wait for shu's reply, my deciding factor, tonight. herphone prob died of low batt so cant reply =P damn. today woke up feeling sore n moody, stomach ached, felt like pukin. what else is new? the resistance of my stomach is zero, no hero. makes me frustrated y im so weak n useless... hate to feel sick all e time. hey orange n grey blends beautifully together =D yay pretty colours. jus makes me happy =)
had a dream bout my gramma last night, haunting (nt bout death, thank God) but still haunting. i guess its cause of the over-drive of guilt i feel for neglecting her n yet she so willingly forgives me... family. the ppl who NEVER ps u and always forgive n accept. things that frens can not attain. mayb its e blood connection thingy ya see? same blood, stick together?
wo men zao shan shi brader wan shan shi ____ ... nvr knew wad the last line said.. hey the colour blends nice today! oh wells, reminds me of my "i ~~('v')~~ <3 green eggs and ham" shirt, its cute, comfy and cheap haha, omg din expect the three C's to cme out haha... well but smts its abit ah lian too? well at least its nt "i lub gween eggx n hamz"
i'm gone. byeeeeeeeee ! =)

if things got any worse im gonna...

2006-11-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

well alot of things has been bugging me lately. concernin a whole host of things. frens, frens and frens. yea... i duno y but its weird.firstly i hav been feelin terribly concerned for a darling fren of mine and she noesss *loveyalots! n i really wan her to take care of herself... pls don make me worry anymore k!! hahah yes... i gt quite a few idiots hoverin round my back these few days...my emotions r also gettin e better of me, ive been increasing impatient and all tt wif e ppl closer to me. so sorry if i jus let "it" go... word diarrhoea :p
ijustolduthatihatyeitwensmeonedoesthatsaythosestupidwordslikeyayayayaokokokandthereugodoingittomewhataignoraantretardedbiatchuare
loserloserloseriicannottakeit
i guess time plays a part in my mood but im so ~~bitchyyy~~ easily annoyed nwadays. little things like change in plans or tellin me in e middle of the day that theres smt on n blah blah jus ticks me off n i cant seem to hide it. n my most HATED phrase is...
"It's your choice"
i NOE its my ~~f**kin~~ damn choice so i don need anyone to tell me that... n i always give my answer so don try to add a sympathetic "its ur choice" quote to smoother things up...UGH !! and yea i don understand hw sme oblivious ignorant idiots jus don seem to HEAR u even when ur right before their eyes n speakin straight into their faces.. they jus blanko u out with liquid paper and stuff their ears with wax or smt. sickenin... sickenin
allofuthinkimeweakestlinkbutiamnotforheavenssakeimtryinmygutsoutherenallihearfromuguysrshitncrapimntseriousenoughscrewitla
whateverusaidruinedmymoodfoewholedaywhileuhurriedalonghappywithurfrensselfishforaleaderisupposepeoplesayawwcmeonthatshim
buthimiannoyin
wah my BLOOD is boilin... omg another mood thin tts gg on.i jus heard another "up to you la" line n i seriously damn fucked up over that la... y do ppl say that? wad kind of ppl SAY that ?! ppl who think u have no choice or ppl who jus wan things their way? oh man im gettin blunt n pissed nw.
really feel like smtyms e ppl ur closets to r e ones that jus don give a shit bout u ... wad a terrible insight i;ve discovereed n of all ppl

i need time alone for awhile

pretty side of things

2006-10-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

I kinda saw the better side of singaporeans today... the cheery, helpful and kind ones. i was running thru e rain aft trng today n i used my "FRIENDS DON LET FRIENDS TALK TO UGLY GUYS" shirt to cover my hair! n im so ~~LUCKY~~ suayyy to miss the traffic light so i had to stand in e pouring rain with a shirt over my head.
Major Loser Scenario
yea then i felt a tap on my shoulder n saw a smiling old man sheltering me with his umbrella! oh man i was so touched n probably thanked him a gazillion times n later behind me another woman sheltered this SMGS girl n this random guy smiled at me =\ it seems so weird that in such a situation, in e horrendous rain, people still have e heart to help idiots like me who r jus to damn ignorant n lazy to bring an umbrella. touching touching =) thank u uncle !! haha
well yeasterday wen to anuaars house for Hari Raya...n man e food was fantastic haha sorry man im a sucka for malay food, mayb cause i don get to eat it often =p love it n once again wana thank ANUAAR for e invitation, had lotsa fun but jus feelin annoyed nw cause i cant download Audition damn =( haha but had to leave early to go SHOPPING hah! OMG wen MAD n raved all over topshop, Espirit and Forever21 . FINALLY i managed to find a paire of jeans from there n this sweet baby pink top from Espirt =) so happy then my sis bought sme cool stuff which is in my size so in actual fact, clothes came in bundles yest !! Wheeeee ...
but i kinda saw a light of myself which i absolutely hate!! i was so selfish and irritating. i hate myself for doing that n im really regreting it nw...
today woke up to a striking pain in my stomach n really felt like puking... so dragged myself to e toliet b4 i explode in my bed! yea so sat there n e pain hit me soooo hard i felt like i was gg to DIE was jus thinkin when it wood end. waited, calmed my mind n stopped breathing. then felt better but realised i HAD to breathe sooner or later. e moment i took air into my lungs e pain came back twice as hard.wah asshole maronic !!!! yea stumbled back into e room, so afraid tt i wood faint in e toliet :p
Gt sme energy back, wen to meet Lydia, Vera, Eunice, Mitchell, Joshua, Matthew and MIA (Hannah). so we ate breakfast at Billy Bombers n took pics =D. matt, mitch, vera wen to watch a movie while eunice wen hme ?? so me, lydia and joshua headed for e MRT. Lydia wen back to sch while me n joshua wen to Lavender. damn had to go for training. wen it rain it pours, so it really rained damn badly n had to RUN (loser scenario again) to trng D:
had a Fantastic Great ~~short~~ time with my classmates, really love hanging n chilling with them. Esp lydia who NEVER fails to make me laugh my ass off :p Tmrs a busy day waiting for me!! gt to get sme rest, hope my stomach settles ~~or im nt gg to sch~~ !oopss nt supposed to forsee skipping sch huh ?!
=D

smooth sailing...smts bound to go wrng =|

2006-10-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

well when everything is gg this smoothly theres sme weirdness in me that tells me
"hey loser, smt bad is bound to happen"
and i live by that, for every happy occasion a bad incident hits back twice as hard.hope that im wrng this time round.well had lotsa fun these past few days... for one my parents were out of singapore so had e freedom i've always wanted...smehow it din seem as exciting n exhilirating as i expected =P aiya in short, disappointing. firstly the late night spent with the bowlers resulted in darryl's bro fetching me hme,paiseh.consume their petrol only =
well thurs was fun.wen little india wif keisha,charlene and vera. ate indian food with our hands =) stained our fingernails and wobbled out to a fare and bought ourselves straw bags of differing colours... we made a pact to bring our "henneh" hands n straw bags on friday +D was enlightened by char and keish on the indian goodies and stuff! so fun la! learn mre than those field trips =p walked mre than a mile!! n wen to a larger bizzare to help keish find a nice dark coloured outfit for deepavali... later gt hot n irritated so wen into mustafa and sat infront of the plasma TVs and enjoyed free *repeated* movies +D sme young kids from prob germany joined us... awww. from there we waited for keish to meet her parents then wen hme =) thanks guys for such an enjoyable day! loveee u all !
fri had PT was really fun but disappointing at first cause e guys were too consumed in their soccer match till they forgot e girls were waiting for them! haha n me i rushed back from vi'lage, was celebrating PRES bday with classmates =) it dawns on me that they mean so much to me... smetyms i realise that a tad bit too late... hai i suck. returned and skip e disappointin part.. n we played captains ball in the haze... ya we jus wana die faster la,n then watched the "friendly match" btwn RJC and SAJC. 1-1 ok la.. firendly ma... so wen for dinner n wen hme late.
saturday was mre exciting...wait let me recall..
oh ya had trng then later on wen to have lunch at this "hay mee" stall n then headed for hme +D glenn wen to meet darryl n anuaar at the pool place then me n zen wen hme to change n get ready for sme shopping! haha bought nothing but jocelyn came along too +D had lotsa fun with her... really MISS HER oh my.. emo. wen hme late again cause we watched THE PRESTIGE which confused the hell outa me. *pissed* but eventually gt e story n slept well that night X)
sunday wen marks house to do PW.. as usual wen late and we wound up playin wif his cat "cookie" cause its so darn cute n soft and fluffy and retarded and innocent and patient and i wana steal it hme so me n keish can share it... haha so we slacked quite a bunch haha, tried soccer on PS2 (failed miserably, blame mitch for his teaching skills la!haha) and then practiced our skit! wen for dinner and then mark, mitch and keish watched e Liverpool VS Man Utd match while i felt guilty n stayed in e room to do PW =p haha... left late! thanks mark for waiting at e bus stop wif me (and the cheng teng)!! but still im gg to steal ur cat! reached hme late once again =(
today wen sch for dry run... during practice i felt so pressured and tense that it gt the better of me. hai mental strength girl ! but managed to list my points down in e end.. but still let my grp down cause i forgot quite alot of stuff... oh man SORRYYY !!!!
then wen it was all over we choinged to Suki sushi in Cine to enjoy e buffet... ate till i almost died!! but i had lovely company of Nicole,Char and Lydia =) ate our guts out and left with a tummy ache =p greed ah...from there i we walked around so as to burn at least 1% of e calories we ate then later everyone left except me n Nic so we wen to Far East to lk for a bag but she ended up buyin shoes and a bag haha ! i had 25 cents =( borrowed 35 cents from nic to go hme n well parents jus came hme from holiday !! kinda miss them =)

Feel like S.H.I.T =P

2006-10-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

well colours are back +D haha took a really lng break cause of promos... aww cme on thats a good enough excuse! right? haha has to be laaa :p hmmm but anyways what im gg to say nw is not about hahas and hehes (eww hehe) ya. this incident haunted me till this very moment.. hai yes it all started yesterday...
well we were at the MRT with YL, glenn darryl zen and partially blinded me. as usual my vainity told me not to wear my specs so when i heard a thud followed by a small kids "laughter" i started to laugh cause i have seen cases where these young punks trip, fall and giggle off. but i guess i misinterpreted it as a "laugh" and it was more like a cry of pain. so yeah i received sme slammin sayin tt i shldnt laugh at such situations. hai i noe but i can swear till e church cmes after me that i had no idea! i mean seriously la i laugh at alot of things but when it comes to a young kid i have common sense (even if you refuse to believe it) to separate one laughing matter from another. yea so i doubt that im cold blooded/hearted/minded cause just a few hours ago i was humouring a little girl in the train [how cute she was :) ]
yea so just returned from grammas house visited her for awhile... b4 that went for church where i was so consumed by my regret for the mistake i made yesterday... to me its honest but i guess it seems cruel to others = damn. so prayed for forgiveness and felt a little better after that...also msged zen bout it hai my ~~aunty~~ ah lian rented videos to watch hahah . Njoy ;) oh anyways theres so much to flash back to but so little time, guess i will summarise it XD
well back a few days, wednesday. only seven people from my class came to sch for the "amazing race" challange and we kinda lost all hope to win it even tho the prize was $150 to split among 7 so thats ($21 per head) yea but we started off very late cause vera went to change, nt like we bothered if we started another hour later :p . OH sorry !! e seven cool stuffs were (ladies first), lydia, vera, hannah, me and eunice while e men were joshua and matthew. adds up to 7 . so we lived by matts theory that in the race btwn the hare and tortoise, the tortoise won and well we kinda managed that eventually wen josh "sparked" and realised that *quoted* " hey we can actually win this!" haha yea so plucked up our spirits n choinged all e way =) the final challange was to gourge down a tub of Ben&Jerry's ice cream. 2 guys 1 girl . so joshua, matthew and lydia(love you!) went n made romanic, 06A5 proud. the memory still brings a smile to my fat face =D
then also wen promos ended a whole lot of us (classmates) wen to play lan at paradiz there hahah omg played for 3 hrs straight and really had so much fun !! along the way ppl left n all but it ended with me, charlene, matthew, mitchell, joshua and elroy. so we played pool and wen arcade. blew quite alot of money that day but it was a ~~hell~~ lot of fun +D playe Datona and time crisis and photo hunt =) what memories. so glad that promos ended , all that stress and crap jus gone *poof* haha !
whoa sudden obsession with mariah carey and oldies... don noe y also o_O . oh wells nithing mre to say jus that open house was fun +D damn someone cant make it in... hope he studies harder !!

Damn.

2006-08-26T17:30:00.001+08:00

hmm my font abit too small huh =P nw then realise haha... well haven updated in a lng tym! well many things happened n it seems pretty weird to flash sooo far back so jus a damn summary can alrdy la haha..wells i think i stopped at e CIP day. whoa tts far. well aft tt things were abit awkward in sch but nw i have gotten over it, but at times insensitivity urkes me. theres no such thing as urkes rite? ahaha nvm new word new word! haha... so sch stuff has been fine jus tt theres so much work and presentations so im lyk gettin stage fright half e time n screwing up all e work i've put in = overlookin THAT problem... its been really difficult learnin to accept ppl for wad they are especially if it really clashes with wad i am. thats selfish yea i noe but let me explain first lahhhhh. lyk theres one thing i hate n tts to rush, exceptions are when i am late or its miss ks lessons but other then tt, chill baby. enjoy life. my blood pressure is fine e way it is. so u shld be able to tell what action will irritate me rite? yea ppl who rushes me for NO reason. ah.. gt reason can rush but no reason, thats e prob. ewww i jus realised tt theres no colourrr, boring la.
walao stupid mosquito bit me...tt asshole better nt giv me malaria or smt. wells parent and teacher meetin wen well... haha lk hw it cmes aft e asshole mosquito. ok actually theres no link. damn! haha kk so aft tt cld tell tt my parents were quite satisfied with my results and comment from e teacher so nw they allow me to go out n study cause i think THINK i managed to gain abittttt of their trust. hmm so wen n study out a few times n gt pangsehed by shawn at least a million times la, irony is tt HE ASK ME PLAN ONE! asshole la u hahaha.and u noe i won take tt milo(which is e colour of my font!) lame. ok then one saturday wen to watch fireworks, yay, mesmerised.oh ya !!! haha i donated...
BLOOD! its so freakin weird la, they cldnt find my vein so he adjusted e needle so many tyms tt theres an ugly bruise on my arm =( its been so lng n it hasnt healed, duno y?haha smtyms i get ugly stares from strangers n it can b embarrassing but then i think tt my packet of blood might save a person, worth it? to me yea it is. might do it again too =) oh ya n i also feel that im starting to speak lyk the ppl i hang out with n i feel so uncomfortable whenever i speak cause tts nt me.ugh i gt to stop. well then bowling is becomin mre complex for me... then coming to a grinding halt. explanation: gt a guard cause my wrist is kinda too weak to last lng hours of bowling and my release is inconsistent. so yea today bowled 10 games, damn tts so much. average is lousy at 150, i think. din check my final score.too sian alrdy. so bowled n gt to tok to interstin ppl, din think tt i wood actually be so friendly =P haha was so pissed today haha, kinda freaked myself out.later dad gave me this lecture which made me so annoyed. kept askin me y i din do this that. pls u gt to understand tt i jus used e guard for one day i don even expect anything from myself.hai but i guess he is my dad.ya then sch trng, CBC trng all ending. so lyk huh!! hahah its jus comin to an end lyk tt. so lame lor... sure lose e feel. hai nvm... jus start again.
supposed to go study with zen n a few bowlers but was abit too tired n annoyed to go so nw wastin tym blogging. damn it la, i knew tt stayin at hme will prevent me from studyin. aft this dinner then sure sleep one lor, cause my nature is to b a pig. hai =( admit it smemre. so anyways nw burnin CDs thinkin bout this one person who is really makin me wonder wad kinda idiot i am for likin him.oh ya n theres other stuff relating to bowling ex-co shit. well i din get a position, expected cause #$%@#%^ *i cant say it here* and its kinda a weird mix of ppl but i will support them.firstly, they are frens and hw much mre SCREWED can it get. sry... jus feelin quite anti-everything rite nw. pardon e aggression haha. hmmm yea so i feel that since they (i only blame one tho) scrapped the votin system,i lost e respect for alot of ppl. jus don feel tt they deserve it anymore.i believe that only the TEAM can help the TEAM succeed. not 6 ppl. oops pardon me im being bitchy and blunt, lyk someone i noe lor.
yea so anyways, wana say tt our beloved captain, wong yew liang, i will not hold anything against him for his decisions but sometimes i will counter u if ur askin me to do smt against my will. i hav to honestly say tt nw ur forcin me, all e mre im inwillin to do it, cause i don wana take her under my fat arm. i noe u think im makin a dinosaur outa a chicken egg (sry for e lame reference but i hate e molehill one, overused&cliched). but if u stop i might even do it in my own free will. but i swear WYL if she crosses the line one bit, i wont kill her hit her, but all e abuse is headin ur way. by following ur appointed "responsibility and OPPORTUNITY" it is upsetting another person.so e sacrifice is rather inappropriate and incalled for.if u really wana bring r lost souls to a similar cemetry, try doin it urself first, i don mind handlin other ppl, really.

it was an honest mistake, i swear

2006-07-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

whoa. i gt to start e entry wif a "whoa". its been such a turbulent week...? momday wen to sch n blah blah cant remember wad happened :p hmm aiya fast forward to tues la !! haha .. well tues was a fightening day for me... haha firstly there was miss ks lesson haha... but tt wen fine n poor Dustin had to suffer e torment of presentin +D laugh at me smemore la haha! then came 2.4km run =( well i failed it by 0.02 seconds n my heart jus shattered to smitterins
well weds was kinda a terrible day for me... this week jus seems lyk a tragedy = it started off pretty shit cause i misjudged the timin to get to Kranji n wound up takin a cab from clementi to kranji which costs me $11 !!!!!! omg was so pisseed cause i bet she gt lost la !! walao ... so there goes my allowance =( so i gt there n managed to join the class in washin "curtains" then moved on to interact wif e old folks. well e sickenin part cmes nw...well seeing e old folks broke my heart cause my grandpa used to be in one n i hardly visited him, so im still feelin guilty. he passed away n nw wen i think back i noe tt i gt to treasure my family members mre.love is such an important thing!!
so i held back my tears and memories n proceeded to mingle with them. me n yvonne started with an indian man who kinda lost hope in livin n really stopped choosin favourite things. he kept sayin that there was no use to this that... n we sn ran out of things to say, man it was damn hard la...then he commented "you have big eyes" n i was stunned i din reply n i wanted to compliment him back so badly but my brain jammed shut on me. there n then i felt lyk a hopeless idiot.then we wen to tok to this chinese guy who was blind and i carelessly asked him wad tv show he lyks to watch?what an idiot i am!!!why cant i jus shut up! omgggg aft that we diverted to a diff topic but i still felt lyk a dumb ass so i asked vonn to slap me...ok she did.wah my heart seriously cracked la.. aft tt i was so afraid to say anything at all :x
so we spoke to a man who served40 years in e brgade, he spoke so well!!but he had difficulty speakin...hai it lked so painful...well aft tt we had to go don so that e old folks can eat n well saw si-min n needed to talk to her so badly!!!so confided in her of wad a failure i was n hw i cld nt do this anymore... well aft feelin stupid enuf we wen to sing songs for e elderly.sme were participatin so actively!! haha so cute *tear*...hai e memoriesss.then later found out tt many alrdy heard of my clumsy and insensitive slipup cause vonn was openingly announcin it. aww man, i mean vonn i really treat u as a fren n all but u really din have to furthur humiliate me rite?i mean knowin i was hurt u still carried on n then apologised by givin me a hug aft tt? of all ppl...u...so left feelin hopelessly useless n retarded.
so wen to play CS aft tt at douby ghaut till six plus...whoaa but it was treally fun cause there were sooo many of us haha!mised trng cause honestly i don think i can make it there in tym.so yea... tts hw my day ended, fun but still had a little left over feelin from the service learnin thing...
so today was also a terrible day for me cause gt back geog n econs ppr... wahhh both also so terrible... so mornin was kinda disrupted n had no mood throughout e rest of e day. i din even realise that i lked so obviously Down-ed hai.. sry for all those i "dao-ed" i really din mean it, my world jus seem like such a mess. hmmm wad was worse was that i had this horrible stomach cram thing that really made me feel so sick. hai wad a day rite!!wad a dday...but lter things picked up. hai i always believe that once u hit rock bottom u will shoot up high n soon u will seem so high. yea that happened durin chi and GP. man was laughin lyk no ones business, hai din bother cause really i had nothin to do.
well confessed to e class durin service learnin reflections period that i screwed up BIG TIME wif e old folks n well felt really stupid but i rather they hear it from me then vonn mockings. i admitted i was dumb, i really was but i doubt i will make such a callous remark again.so then ran 8rounds to vent sme anger n stress, felt indirectly insulted by miss wong = smetimes i feel that she has no faith in me and im someone of low potential in her eyes. thats wad i feel anywaysss from e message shes sendin.nvr heard her say that i hav any potential at all...really disheartened me. well then me n zen left for hme n well legs r plastered wif those those patches!! hai hope tme is a better day +)

word of the day : Pissed

2006-07-21T21:20:00.000+08:00

its proven that im a moody ass wen i don get my sleep, noo im nt gg to say "beauty sleep" thats lameness la haha ... anyways the day started off terribly. had to drink coffee b4 gg for assembly where i planned to slp but i cldnt cause my heart was beatin so damn fast... damn caffine! ya but e performance was fantastic tho +D so aft that wen for chinese lessons and then my bad day began.
blame it on the lack of slp that i was so moody today but wen lydia asked me for $21 durin chinese i had to start remindin ppl to pay me class fund later,$2 each. then i gt all sorts of accusations that i exploit the funds =\ oh puhlezzze if i stole e funds i wood b able to buy an iPod by now hahah! anyways then i had to explain y e funds were exhuasted so quickly, honestly la, nt my fault leh, e reps pay they collect from me lor. i don noe y but the lack of trust from one of my classmates wen *asked for proof, even tho it was meant as a joke i felt *had no trust in me and i felt insulted=( yea... but wth i cant expect everyone to trust me anyway.hmm yea so lotsa prob collectin $2,sme ppl nvr pay yet = haha... then as if it wasnt bad enuf, i had to rush to print miss k's CA2 ppr cause my screwed up printer pangseh me la... then e library printer damn ass la, cant work one! so wen com lab then encountered alot of probs n i was on e brink of killin anyone in sight!
anyways finally gt it printed n din eat anythin so gt abit of gastric :p so i was alrdy quite uneasy la... i din feel gd n i was very (prethika wood say) angsty... i had to control my emotions so as to prevent myself from snappin at my frens. wen into lit lessons feelin exceptionally oblivious to my surroundings. to be honest, i was alrdy on e verge of cryin cause i felt veh flustered n frustrated. then there n then my file tumbled onto e floor n somehow tt made aggrrvted my anger n aft pickin e file i turned towards e window took a deep breathe. smehow i cldnt control e tears from wellin up. things lightened up wen a few ppl paid class fund, tt made me feel much better, happier :)
later had PW where everything was weird n all, no work was done, we were lagging, teacher was concerned. i started to worry :p so durin geog readin period, discussed PW.had abit of coflict due to lack of co-operation from member. hai... this was furthur reflected wen we had e service learnin discussion = esp e guys were nt givin nicole their attention when she was tryin so hard! it pissed ppl off n they in return gt pissed. so everyone was pissed.but wen e singin n dancin came e mood lightened up (thank God haha). control,no,eyes. hai lkin you at kept. haha well e guys behaviour din exactly please sme ppl but to me it was ok la... i mean guys like to hav fun rite? thats one thing u cant stop.so then it ended... wen hme wif zen=)
in e morn recieved this ppr thing for all CCA n classes to send in a team of five to audition for a dance,skit,song,wadeva for teachers day ... hai do u think e bowlers wood go ?! haha i doubt so... so tmr gt to explain to YL wad its bout=D
icantstoplkingatyou...idunoybutithinkihavaminicrushonu:pimsuchalameasswhocantcontrol her emotionsbutirealythinkursomeonewhoimattractedto.butonethingiknowistturnvrggtobemine.

theres so much to sayyy +D

2006-07-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

whoa i hav nvr felt so full of things b4 hahah so excitin... oh wells, obviously YL observes tt my blog is kinda laggin, it always does anyways haha. yup so in e past month, i lost me cat found him four days later on the 7th of july which is such a blessin cause last tym he gt lost (dumb ass jumped out of e window to catch a bird) he came back on my bday which is also on e 7th !! haha my official favourite number man! haha ... yeaaa then had alot of weird happenins tt i can remember, alot of missses.
k i will start gettin messy cause honestly i cant orientate my thoughts rite nw so screw it =p it so happened tt a few days back once e exams were over, everyone was free n happy. so zen gt a little carried away n wen to watch Superman without me = haha nvm la we booked each other for pirates alrdy haha. so its buy one get one free for pirates +D haha ... anyways fumed for awhile, lyk i always do, then nxt day cldnt wake up for sch cause i think i fumed too much from e ears till i wen partially deaf n cld nt hear my alarm haha.so din bother gg sch. then later zen n i met up for coffee at Coffee bean n talked (ok BITCHED) then wen to play pool. haha there we droolleedddd over this major hot guy in grey shirt, who sounds lyk a bapok wen he speaks, but nontheless hot! so then we saw anuaar... wad a surprise la we din even realise he was there til e sun came down haha!
cldnt remember e nxt day veh well... mayb cause it was such a damn borin day=\ yay i passed chinese!! then gave my teacher this little pencil cap thing which he wanted cause he saw Mickey!! n asked me to help him buy for his "nu er" . so one fateful day wen to suntec n spun tt machine n gt a Dumbo instead. wad a dumb thing to get dumbo la. but gave it to him n refused money back,paiseh la haha...so TODAY, he called e ever retardedly smart dustin n told him to summon me to e staff room.walao i tot my chinese test kena cut off marks la!! cause im nt so lucky to pass chinese one haha... but instead he gav me jap Mochiii haha red bean paste n expires on e 18th july! haha. wah i was so scared tt i even asked him "lao shi wo zuo cuo le she meh shi?" hahaha ... lousy ass man.
anyhoohaa this same fateful day where i recieved mochi, we had sme SC commendation thin... ok sry its NOT borin but e temperature there was soooo perfect n i fell aslp while e guy was tokin haha.sry bout tt God, pls forgive me if u consider tt a sin! :( anyways rewind abittt. well itot it was sooo ccute e way we wen to e cathedral cause it was a weird buncher of us-er haha.jus tryin to rhyme tt line, sry bout tt hope its fine. so it was me, shobah, prethika,charlene, keisha,joshua,jiayi,vera,alrdic,si min, n my imagination. wen we gt into e bus we managed to fit n there were no mre space for other losers haha. i loved this scene. the bus decelerated as it passed a bus stop flooded wif SA student,everythin seemed slow-mo.i see familiar faces.then i see this girl,standin wif a withered flower in her hand, glancin pitifully at e passin slow-mo bus.then i tot.haha lame ass... so i laughed til e sun wen up n down haha.i guess it tickled my funny bone :p thanks charlene !! comic relief. so we took another bus later to e cathedral wif *gasps*joshua leadin e way haha. funky... then we bought old chang kee, bread n crap on e way there n crossed e TRAFFIC LIGHT cause sme ppl were law abidders n din jay-walk -_-" .reached, dried,cried,lyed(to slp), then almost gt my ass fried by a teacher. thanks to shobah who saved my ass =D
aft it all ended, called zen to see if she wanted lunch. apparently she did n called YL.but along e path of confusion i lost my class... n i felt bad nt sayin byeeeeeee first. so later told zen i will meet her later alligator n wen to see my classmates.but they then literally dragged me to e MRT even tho i was kinda worried cause i left zen behind... then they told me to jus PS n go cause im so anti-social n always wif bowlers.but honestly la, half e bowlers werent there haha! so in e end pissed zen off so badly n wen wif my classmates.sry bout tt mate! i cant stand PSers n there i did it... so i felt lyk shit.but wen ur PSed e feelin really sucks...heart veh pain one.haha. anyways, had lotsa fun, ate BK then wen shoppin!bought a top for $11-85 woman pissed me off tho. then wen hme haha. saw kenneth in e bus then saw zen too. so qiao! haha.
yi quan ur D.E.A.D man ... tmr is ur last day on earth MuaHaHa...
omg ur freakin paranoidn tts freakin me out cause u always think everythings bout u ... mayb it is cause ur so damn annoyin wif ur KPO-ness... nt everybody appreciates u pokin ur head into ppls businesses. sry to say tt....

everythin in life is NOT for free...

2006-06-24T15:46:00.000+08:00

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	High

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

haha hai... kk im laggin once again so im gg to tok bout e day we spent at e beach. which is officially on e 22nd on June !! haha ... ok pardon e typos, im partially blind here. oh wells... it was a bright n sunny day, thank God tt it din rain haha. zen wood b so disappointed :p haha... wells it started wif alot of pangsehin... many cldnt make it last minute, din let tt bother me tho. i was happy +D haha so zen came over at nine hundred hours in e morn n we exchanged sexy shorts haha yesss XD so we left for parkway where Darryls comedy dad picked us up from there n headed for habourfront! once we reached, darry had sme sixth sense thing tt e rest of e gene gang were at Macs n hw true it was haha... so we met Glenn, yew liang (who wore a red shirt tt blended in wif e chair) *random* haha n then ho yun came ! haha so me n zen kinda pimped tt day :p awww... haha yes so we ate.stoned. then wen to sentosaaa !!

once we reached sentosa,there were so many hot chicks n sexy guys so the six of us were contented haha +D im makin everyone sound so preverted haha! nvm la... haha so so settled at siloso beach i think n started playin volleyball. ok honestly wen we started we sucked and we cld nt even volley for mre then 4 tyms. so we gt tired of chasin e ball all over e shop n wen to kayak. e waves were so pretty n e wind was so exhilarating!! haha so i lay down on my kayak n let my hands sink into e sea... sigh... tts paradise. THEN i started to worry tt this is "somewhat" suntannin n i doubted e sunblocks efficiency! so yea wanted to hide in e water ASAP. but din do tt yet.. we kayaked mre... then glenn n YL jumped into e water earlier then e rest of us haha... so we returned e kayak soon aft. wen to get a drink, was so dehydrated i almost dried up n crumbled into powder. later we dashed into e waters n let e waves crash on us... until too much sand wen into my undies... tt was e limits!! so we wen deeper in abit haha. well YL n glenn pangehed us n swam way out to e rocks = then they brokebacked awhile. while they were brokebackin, ho yun, darryl,zen n me were jus waddin in e waters...chillin. playin ball.

so we soaked e sea dry then wen to play soccer i think.... i cant coordinate my thoughts well =\ yeaaa we played soccer. ok tts nt my niche area so i stood be e goal post n let e ball hit my legs at CERTAIN angles. if im lucky it wen in ... if im unlucky, well u don wana noe. aft awhile zen retired n i retired wif her cause we felt abit losers la haha. i will stick to watchin soccer haha! so we volleyed :) then darryl n ho yun joined us while glenn n YL wen smewhere to BB again haha.im jus assumin here !! haha ... so we played two on two. haha friendly match la... then aft glenn n YL came back we all played till e fantastic YL said tt he brought firsbee (never tell us earlier) haha so we played frisbee for awhile then our stomachs growled haha.

whoa ... a shower nvr felt tt goooood X) haha ... spoke to a lady in e toliet haha, shes so nice la haha. she was an ex-teacher in MGS. although i don lyk MGS i think shes cool. said our hi's n bye's then exited e toliet to find e guys ready outside haha.. felt abit mahlu cause din noe we took so lng :p haha.. then we left for habourfront subway. the guys were checkin out this girl in white blouse. wen me n zen had a closer lk, we felt tt e boys had to improve their taste abit leh... haha. anyways ho yun attempted to devour a 11foot sub, i think. but he cldnt so darryl helped him haha.so aft tt we wen to watch scary movie 4 at e new cineplex place next to PS. but YL din join us cause he left his HP in sentosa n had to get it back. aft tt he wanted to go hme. b4 e movei e guys craved Ben&Jerry's so we wen there for awhile... ****

aft tt we wen to sme place at selegie n e guys wen to buy bets on soccer. haha me n zen stoned awhile .. ok alot! haha... wen they finally gt their bets n left. ho yun waited for a cab while , me,zen glenn , darryl wen over to Mr. Beans to sit n chill X) e gals bought orange juice from 7-11 while e guys ordered, wedges, calamari n sme smoothie thing. haha yea ... i stuck to my oracge haha+D later darryls dad gave me n zen n glenn a lift back. he dropped me at MPCC there while zen at her house there.so i crossed over n took a bus hme =) was so tired!! haha... gt BURNT!! yea smt i dreaded =( nw im sheddin skin lyk a snake... ugh! n i gt a sis in my eye... hai i always get a sis wen i see smt im nt supposed to. but i din see anything DX unless its topless guys la... wells it was a fun day .. haha. but had lit lesson e nxt day =\ siannnn...

wen to sch yest, was ten minutes late wif charlene n nauveed so we were locked out of class... wad a bitch la. i mean ... screw it. don even wana tok bout it. so i headed back hme... hai waste my damn tym! so i slpt till 6pm... watched TV ate dinner. watched spainVSsa...so disappointing match la... 1-0 .. expected mre from spain :p then slpt till 11am walao ... i slp alot huh?! omg... haha.

hai i tot u wood stay wif me but u jus wen ahead all e way. tt occupied my mind on e way hme. i mean do u always HAVE to b delivered to ur doorstep?! even wen we take cab together u cant even walk out abit to save money n journey of makin a u-turn. do u hav ANY idea hw sick n tired my parents r of being ur chauffeur?! they don even wan2 pick ME (their own daughter) up anymre cause they hav to take u along.smtyms it gets annoyin he u can jus freeload off ppl lyk tt.it makes me think twice wad kinda person ur.i hint to u many tyms, ur oblivious to everything, i doubt u gt my hint anyways.ur so oblivios i cant stand it! freeeloader.... wen r u gg to pay ur dues.

title no link to words, don bother :p

2006-06-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

hai i realised my entries were too lng but haha tt e excitin part cause e last part is all bout e bitchin haha. so.....
wen ur lazy n u miss it clap ur hands XD
i seriously HAVE to announce this :
EUCUADOR lost 3-0 to GERMANY
yes believe it ;) haha... it was so intense la... haha until Klose scored e first goal haha!! yayyyy ... was abit delayed cause din expect e goal leh ahhaa... anyways i think e way he runs is abit gay leh :p haha but cant argue wif a gay-runnin guy who has e ability to score an average of 2.3 goals in a game !! hes all power man... haha n he plays for Germany rahhh.... then aft tt Klose scored another goal wid e aid of (my darling) Ballack!! haha he gave a nice little chip n Klose did e rest =D haha ... so proud of my baby. yup then later wif sme passes from e terribly cute no.16 Lahm n e weird-named guy No.3 Friedrich. i prefer it richly-fried tho ;P haha .. so anyways the wonderful No.20 Podolski, scored e third goal of e match. aiya .. his name is so hard to spell = ooo but i think No.19 Schneider was damn coool laaa O_O hes also hot. he made so many funky passes. rocks.haha so then it was excitement all e way wen my darling tried to score by himself!! wad a soloist la... haha tts one thing i can stand bout Germany . they lack tt teammm thing tt Spain and Argentina possess. this team feellll. wen one score a goal ALL run, hug, celebrate together. acknowledge e person who passed e ball to u n gave u e opportunity to score. i love that.
haha i realised one guy from Eucuador has a real funneh name haha ... i think its kinda cool tho. e way its printed on e jersy is C.LARA . kinda sad huh? hope u get it tho = whoa sudden change of font! haha yayyy...
anyways, wen to buy a top today from F.O.S for 9.90. stupid sis thot it was 3.50 = nt funny la haha... hmm oh ya my daddy brought hme gooood news for moi n i loves him for that +D+D+D+D he told me tt i gt e high game series for interclub last week ! omg im so happy la ... i nvr nvr nvr nvr gt tt kinda shit la haha... hai wen to my room n screamed into my pillow sigh... heart feels so higghhh nw haha. can slp tonight :) oh wells. tml gg to watch CARS wif sis aunty n two cousins at P.S haha ... feel so ackward cause i don lyk free stuff, EXCEPT THAT IPOD NANO !! haha ... so yea. aw wells. wen to study today wif zen aft F.O.S at Taka. wells we wen to Coffee bean even tho i wasnt really "up" for it. but zen needed caffine. so we wen ahead n wells it turned out to be a bloody wet market !! ugh ... so damn angry, frustrated n pissed aggitated WADEVA la ... all e badddd words u can think of, i felt it there n then.
i only did five-six pages of my notes. walao. i almost exploded la. first e noise, then i cldnt concentrate, n wen i finally did zen buay tahan liao so we left. honestly speakin. no matter hw gd e coffee was the coffee wasnt worth it.
i think i need to get my tots rite. if i wana study, its a quiet place. if i wan a gd cup of coffee i will chill at a starbucks/coffee bean. no matter hw SUCKY cafe galilee is, the environment is almost perfect for studyin =) well boom-bammed-slammed my cash today. money seriously flew in all directions n my heart cracked :( booo :o haha shld curb my spendin !! aw wells. thot of him today +D cant get him out of my mind but i bet he doesnt even noe i exist, thats sad.
hai so anywaysss haha cant think of anything else. so i shall stop. make it short-ER haha. n i got to say ONE thing b4 takin my leave. that MCP (male chauvinist PIG,wait. don insult pigs.) so ya i can say wadeva i wan bout football cause i lyk e game n i enjoy watchin it. e things i say bout e players, hot sexy completely irresistable, smt hes NOT. jealousy i guess... so yea. i may nt noe EVERYTHING bout soccer but im innocently watchin n commentin lyk a guy wood if he watched a beach volleyball game where babes wore bikinis. so i hope he burns in hell n does nt die till he hears EVERY comment a GIRL has to say bout soccer players. thats my wish. hah.

heart attack!! jialat!!!!

2006-06-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

i really really wanna win tt STUPID STUPID iPod nano leh ... if only i listened to myself n registered earlier. other retarded ppl gt it instead. wells no worries i will try n get as many "tokens" as i can!! haha cause im jus too damn cheapskate to BUY an iPod nano =P there i said it haha u don hav to THINK it ;) anyways gg for one solid colour today!! haha too many colours make me worried :p
wells today wen to meet zen to study at suntec, but b4 studyin we wen to marche to hav lunch which cost round 12 each? killeeerrr xp ... but i was contented wif my bloated stomach!! haha had a crepe (mariana w/ cheese) and shared a rosti wif zen. u noe wad shit, nxt tym im gg to be smart. jus order rosti wif a damn sausage! that wood save me more money $$ =) but screw e plan, cause im nt gg back there for a lnggg tym. kinda "gelat" of e food there alrdy :p so later we wen to *$ (starbucks) to study, but it was damn bad for me la... today my production level was on e ultimate lowwww-ness. ok manyyy things to blame !! except myself :)
First!! e speaker was jus beside my head!! u expect me to study wif jazz music blastin thru my brains? blast it! Second! e music playin softly on my discman( yes u can tell y i need an iPod, i still use a discman) clashed wif e darn jazz music so i seriously cldnt concentrate. so i took off MY music! Third! the place was sooo distracting!! there were ppl wearing coloured stripped pants and cute english men walkin past the clear glass outside. n the funniest thing was this retarded guy tokin on e hands-free n his hands were gesturin allll over e place (as if e person on e other line cld see where u were pointin la). but one thing tt was good tho was e coffee ... *ahhhh* sheer blisss XD
i wood die a happy woman if i had a nice cuppa coffee from there b4 i leave my deathbed. compared to e lousy crap they call "coffee" at Cafe Galilee !! walao that place don even put a drop of coffee into e drink la! no wonder e price there is lower... but one mre thing. where cafe galilee is located is e Orchard library ... n studyin there is paradise!!! its so quiet n theres hardly anything but a whisper while at *$ noise pollution is too much for my tiny brain to handle. so i suggest n strongly ADVISE (decide among urselves if u wana listen to a person wif tiny brains but a BIGG heart +D, wadeva) that if u wan a cuppa heavenly coffee, go *$. if u wana get sme knowledge in ur darned head, go to cafe galilee. if u wan e best of both worlds, go to heaven =)
so anyways, i was freakin frustrated today tt i cldnt get much work done n human geog gt me to pissed off cause its alll memorisin work... soi gave in to e temptation of shoppin at,respectively, 6pm. wen to see cool clothes at Topshop, Fox, Bum, weird aunty shops, Dor perkins. n on n on ... haha ... so we wen from shop to shop. finally bought nothing n headed home wif a heavy heart =(
so ignoring all tt ... im gg to tok bout tml!! haha so if u wana conincidently meet me, listen X) [omg, im so freakin lame today... don listen to anything i say, esp if i compliment myself]
tml i will b gg toooo FOS (factory outlet shop) smt lyk that... if u lyk things ur way then think of it as full of shit. gg to find a nice shirt to wear for a special day... nt gg to tell uuu haha ... don think u careee tooo +D haha
ahh... i seriously LOVE shoppin wif zen la haha. she doesnt just care bout herself n e clothes on her back n whether it suits her n only her. she actually bothers to tell me honestly hw e clothes lk on my fat ass n hw sme seriously make my ass lk fatter in a subtle way =) wen im shoppin wif her i feel at ease n i don hav to fight for her attention to comment on my clothes as she will auto ask/tell me wad she thinks bout e things i try. hmmm honestly... this is nt a gd example of my blog which is supposed to be bout bitchin cause im complimentin bout someone but i think its pretty cool. we tried so many outlandish clothes n we jus laughed our asses off wen we realised hw ridiculous sme topshop TOPS can get hahah... sme so lng, sme so low-cut exposin alot!, so many freakishly, horribly,non-understandable clothes :D but it was fun, altogether.
anyways... i seriously feel veh strongly bout a person rite nw [if u think its u, its nt...that way u won think too much =) ]

if ur really a fren u wood understand e pain i wen thru n nt add to it. i don think u understand wad im feelin n e hints im sendin to u cause its displayed in ur every action, word, look u give me. i noe u care bout me but r u nt able to decipher wad im sendin to u, im makin it pretty obvious alrdy! it hurts me everytime u say such things cause i [secret language] toolagoo sharleglar delegle saymlaglame feelaglings forelaglor hymmlaglymm toolagloo.... it hurts dear, it hurts. i don noe wen u will ever noe wad i really feel, e many times i faked my smiles. i did it cause i noe u care. hai, pls pls b mre sensitive. u noe *helage is my hope from tt fine day.

im lost at e moment ?!

2006-06-17T17:19:00.000+08:00

hai its so weird that so many things has happened and yet i haven blogged bout it. mayb cause of e guilt trip im gg on rite nw haha, nt studyin well for CAs which is jus a week away ... *panic attack*
ok the panic attacks over, nw to speak bout e past few days haha... its so funny when ur comp lags while u write and u sit and watch e letters tryin to catch up frantically haha ! ... okkk lameness aside... haha yea ... wells i haven bowled since that fateful day wen my mom cldnt stop commentin on my bowling so havin abit of a withdrawal syndrome!

I MISS BOWLING SOOOOO MUCHHH !!!!greg quek too :p
haha yea actually i won deny tt gq is a distraction for me, to divert my attention from an ass. it seems tt this person din tell me smt tt i was supposed to noe so tt i won waste my tym.but nooo, this nice person jus left me dangling wondering day aft day whether he felt e same for me.
but now i noe. i won be fooled once mre by you. screw you basturd.
well since thats outa e system, e last few days hav been fun, studied econs almost e whole week, hai i only hav a week left n i still hav geog,lit,GP to do... it IS virtually impossible. so i can say nw that im screwed... for CAs! hahaha oh wellsss, isnt everyone? from word of mouth, heard that sme haven even started, jus hope im nt e lowest in class, don wan ppl to lk down on moi jus cause im a DSA student. that wood seriously suck. ugh... !! don tok bout studies alrdy !! haha makin me feel depressed D=
its kinda sad, my moms gg off to bangkok for a week... nvr tot i wood say this but i wood miss her dearly. i mean shes always e person tt pisses me off n asks me to study.pushes me to study so that i don disappoint her. nw that shes away, whos gg to push me? hai its gg to b tough. always tot that once a parent/parents is/are away, i can havoc all i wan till e sun comes down. but it seems e other way round. wen ur parents r away, i feel e responsibility to take care of myself n restirct myself from doin retarded things tt i will regret later, like clubbing. honestly, i do wana try clubbing but smt consistently reminds me that its nt smt my parents wood approve of and nt smt i wood approve of. duno y im so "guai" cant i let myself loose ? hahaha well i like it this way anyways... ahaha.
hmmm oh yaa yest wen to watch NAG(national age group)... shlda joined cause there were so few girls! haha... around 30+ only, but honestly la, no sponser ! its so freakishly expensive n ya, orchid lanes(to me) sucks anyways haha... had bad experiences there :p my first interclub was there, masters event wen e skin of my thumb ripped off dramatically, oily lanes,old ragged lking lanes. haha ya u can say im a veh biased person. aft lkin at all the other synthetic lanes in spore, orchid doesnt match up *shrugs* ah wells , so me n zen had a terrible journey there cause we stood so damn lng in e train! heels almost killed me man... ya but we planned to dress UP tt day cause it was a sort of "the new Regina" cause of a particular basturd. yea so it was to celebrate my extreme will power to forget him,n move on =D haha... but actually we were supposed to hav dinner wif our clique = but as USUAL..kena pangsehed... so yea forget it, me n zen r tryin so damn hard to get everyone together n since its nt workin. screw it.
yea so dressed up n then lked so weird in a bowlin alley ! haha but ah who cares... then watched our SA boys bowl, they did quite well! yeaaa haha actually planned to stay till the very end of the day but kinda moved on to hav lunc-ner wif a few ppl (unc.paul, yew liang, glenn,darryl, leonard, hong liang,augustine, joel, kevin, zen & me) wad a weird combination huh? i felt weird cause i don feel comfortable being outnumbered. yea but zen seemed fine wif it so jus wen along anyways...so we ate n crapped then wen back to e alley for awhile... haha eh! i saw Boston bowlin haha, he lked so adorable... felt lyk i was watchin a little brother bowl, but its nt so haha ... = l hmmm then said hi to his dad n unc.Andrew who seriously cld nt recognise me haha ... he lked so confused haha! anyways, left to take a shuttle n i really enjoyed listenin to all e things these guys had to say cause it involved a certain person i completely abhor. so i jus enjoyed myself wif e entertainment e guys provided haha. those comments were music to my earsss haha +D n i heard smt else which, this time, involved the legendary augustine and joel ... haha it made me laugh so hard till i cldnt stop !! hahaa cant believe wad i heard man ! these r e perks of listenin to guys, they say such funky things tt can impress u for hours hahaa... i smile upon recallin these events :)
so we stoned at e MRT station cause there were sme sort of confusion so we jus stood there n laughed bout a special threesome which i completely "love" . once again laughed lyk shit-ness...both my face n stomach cramped up so hard man... hai, such lovely words to hear bout ur enemy =) wen we realised we stoned for too lng, we left for e train and the group was reduced to jus a few [zen, me, glenn, darryl, joel] so i dropped off at toa payoh to meet my mom while zen P.I.M.P.E.D with the guys all the way till duno wad tym. so had another confusion wif my mom as USUAL tt pissed her off haha, but gt over it la, thats wad family is for rite? wells headed for thompson medical centre to see a new addition to the LIM side of my family haha. if ur lost heres ur explanation: my moms a chinese (Lim) so yea im a part of lim too, so i hav a new cousin!! a GIRL !! haha yeaa... cuteness... xp ! yea so we saw, awww-ed,clawed at e little peep-squeek. i realised hw adorable she lked, hw i wood love to hav one of my own sme day =( but i guess tts impossible cause i will probably end up being a spinster!! hai yea so we had to da-bao food hme cause both our parents pangsehed us to play mahjong, the game i hate! bought out e whole of delifrance XD haha... headed for hme to watch ARGENTINA trash SERIBIA&MON. i cldnt believe e score la... 6-0 wth... i tot it wood stop aft Messi came in cause, seriously, HOW MANY GOALS R THEY GG TO HAVE ?!! it has to stop somewhere rite! haha... yea but once again im wrong n they continued to humiliate S&M... felt a little sad for them tho. but heck it la, argentina deserved tt win.
sucks tt theres no pink font, wood lk cute = haha anyways today wen to see my gramma!!!! haha din see her for soooooooooooooo damn lng. GRAVELY missed her... so she told me stories of her past n i listened while my dad dozed off haha then wen to zens house to collect my notes n jacket then wen to eat "Ang-pang niang tou fu" the best shit u cld eat haha was heavenly haha xp hai tml i wana go for bowling but my moms flyin off to bangkok at e same tym ... hai nt really a life-n-death decision but i don wana make e wrng decision.As Mrs.Linguish always said " the harder thing is always the right thing to do"
Tml is also fathers day n my sis bought a shirt for daddy ... hai hope he lyks it... both of us r nt blessed in the area of gift-buyers. i hate buyin gifts!!!! it sucks to e core cause im so afraid tt e person on e recievin end won lyk it... screw it =( haha. ok nw im gg to state my opinion. told my sis bout *jeff today n she felt jeff was such a ***** n all, wans attention from e opp sex.i woodnt do wad jeff did cause it was so weird... wells i agree wif her n i duno hw lng jeffs gg to be so flirty n all. its disgustin.
*don ask me who jeff is cause NO WAY m i gg to say*

cant u see that im tryin so hard jus to make u happy?

2006-06-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

wells, jus came back from interclub, whew man m i parched ! exhausted. hungry but soo not gg to admit it haha i seriously gt to cut down (alot) on my food intake haha =p hai well i felt kinda happy aft interclub even tho i felt abit shit bout my last game ! shucks if i spared my last frame, e score wldnt b so intense n all tt crap. well e score today was seriously extreme, 190, 201, 134. yea tts wad im tokin bout THAT 134. my mom jus snubbed me for being "inaccurate, inconsistent, not focused... hai u wasted ur first two games.all ur efforts gone". i noe *yes aldric* that mothers will nvr b fully satisfied n will always wan e best for their child, but smtyms all their child wans to hear from them is a word of encouragement or maybe a simple "ok u tried ur best" . that wood hav made my day, but instead nw im at hme broodin over my mistakes,hw screwed up i am as a daughter.
well past that n recapin ... yea i always recap e wrng way round =P forgive me ! haha. wells i jus gt to say that greg **** is damn hot la haha, he jus possesses sme sexy-ness in him haha. but its jus a short lived thing,jus facinated wif his *whistles* physical appearances haha. his eyes! whoa, hotness haha.kk i shall stop obsessing over him n yea ... ok one last tym.
ur hot !! nw that e teenage fantasy is over.. i shall move on to mre mature topics +D (yeaa rite) saw Clara, yi quan, leonard there too haaha they were all bowlin =) haha happy... then was tokin to clara bout random stuff while we were testin e lanes =p *eeps* i bet we lked lyk weirdos la haha!
anywayss haha b4 interclub was wif mummy in town "shoppin"... mummy was jus buyin cosmetics so i was jus usin e moisturizer for free haha, my skin is peelin lyk madness la! so yea i was jus taggin mummy along all e way, was kinda dizzy cause i was slpin b4 tt haha =p then wen for coffee cause had tooo much time la haha.coffee boosts me up mahnz! i think i need coffee wen i bowl ahha, keeps me physically dead but brain awake ;) haha. was stonin mos of e tym wen i was bowlin la haha.thanks lots to tara, zen for comin down to support me yea? haha yea... wells b4 bowlin, b4 gg out wif mummy, ya stop there ! haha .. kks so in e morn woke up at bout 7.59? haha yea, as good as dead rite ?haha was almost late for e weddin la! so i rushed abit, met shuuu haha then left for holy family church for Miss Long's weddin! yay +D
heyyy wheres e photos mahn! =(

so wen we finally reached, me & shu were jus stonin at e corner of e street cause no one reached yet! haha so we waited n they came, we wen in, sat at sme ulu-ated part n ostrasized ouselves haha.we had a hunch miss long forgot us lorsss ... yea n i think she did cause many tyms she lked at us then lked away haha +D ah heck aft all those years of teachin we cant expect her to remember everyone rite?hai durin e weddin it was sooo romantic n e bride gt all choked up while exchangin *awww* weddin vows, so i teared a little cause, honestly, i don see a future lyk that for me =( the gospal read that everything is planned by God, even this marriage is planned by him.so we shld trust him n put our lives into his hands. okk nt being mean or anythin but u think hes kinda slackin on my love life here ahha, im so forsaken. but i kinda lyk it this way, n yet hate e shit out of being single so im one confused little (dat) girl .haha so wen all the big hoo-hah was over, we wen over to parkway to dine in fine pasta mania.had e cheapest shit there "pomorodo" n a drink. still so ex la $6.70 =P ugh im a cheapskate haha. so later we took photo aft photo n then wen to develop it at sme machine haha, pissed e woman off soo bad haha, don care la. managed to print so many lovely photos! +D yayness. but i cant upload it here tho, shitcakes. aiyo regina, ur inventin new words aft new words haha, wads wrng wif u man. high on caffine =D
yea so u get e point. my day ended off on a relatively happy mayb even a sad note but i guess all things hav to be abit weird n all.hai its the life of regina rodricks anyways, cant expect things to go smoothly hahas... well somehow i feel rejuvinated, high. but still hurt by my mothers comments. so im scootin off to bed wif a messy head. im better off dead, tts wad i said.
whoa seriously, e lame-ness gt to stop haha. aiya...r e photos showin nt ?!
hehheh... i somehow forgot u for today aft bowlin interclub.. mayb cause there were so many other hot guys there. but i can say, confidently, that its all temporary. u will start to crawl back into my mind, heart... ok soul will b too much la ! haha... orh wells... i guess ur a hauntin image in my head.

Do u feel the same way too ? tell me la u ass!

2006-06-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

aww cute colour font haha u gt to love it haha +D
ok im crappin nw haha... ahhh who cares =P anywayss theres so much to say! haven blogged for quite awhile too =) hmmm jus walked back from this Crab restaurant place, whoa the crab is fabulicious babyy xp haha ... ate lyk a pig! haha then walked back alone cause my dad PS me n wen to play mahjong wif his cool irish fren haha +D had lots of tym to think to myself as i strolled hme. haha started thinkin up a poem. if i remember i mite vomit it here later haha. then walked thru this dark place *brave girl* n started hearin noises... so i freaked. DIN RUN THO !! damn ... im so pissed haha i was draftin out wad to type while i walked hme, but once im HERE (damn this place) i forgot everything =( so dinner was funky, walk hme was cool but abit LONER leh! in e end it doesnt even matter haha !!
anyways this aftnn zen came over to use e comp for sme stuff and i wan2 thank her for that cause if she din cme i wood b e one infront of e comp nt doin homework hahaha =D so cheers to that i did 9 maths questions! yay-ness haha ...hai sry to PS u zen, i really cant follow u to *$ (starbucks) cause im informally grounded. made my mom&dad so angry this week for gg out almost everyday =P yikes... scary shit haha. eh the colours lk lyk a christmas tree !! hahaah

Flash Back ----> 9/6/06

haha so cute rite ?! haha but sadly it doesnt belong to me even tho she loves me and hates pok haha +D yayyy. this little babys name is "tails" but responds to "daddy", shes a girl wif a beautiful face, cant jump and loves billy the most. the most important thing here is that shes NOT LOST! haha im jus tokin bout her for fun =D adorable shit la. yea.. anyways yest was really fun, nvr felt so rejuvinated (i think its a spellin error, ah heck). First we wen to play badminton (bad) at Hougang there... somewhere. was so funky la! haha e sexy ppl who went were [zen, me, ryan, pok, billy] so we played until e sun came down. actually we played for 3.5hrs la, until one thirty wen my stomach started growlin =p thru that 3.5hrs, zen gt whacked at the neck by e shuttlecock(SC), pok gt smashed on e back n head by e SC,billy gt a soft one on the back, ryan gt one near e head n i gt a complimentary one on my "xiong" = but ryan revenged for me! so thanks alot boy wif e cool bag! so we four hungry ppl left to munch, din even bathe! yea so we wen over to the coffee shop to eat. so there billy met his ultimate nightmare! the char kuay tiao uncle ...attituded billy even wen billy politely asked for CKT wif no cockles n all e way uncle jus attituded allll the way haha even wen he served the CKT he slammed the plate on e table n snatched the $2 from his hand. hahaha... so billys mood was spoilt n he jus ate... so horrible.

anyways aft piggin out we all crashed at billys house n there we bathed at his house haha ... so i PS zen n left her wif billy. haha in e toliet i gt stuck in my jeans n it was traumatising!! O___O haha then i wen back to e room feelin lyk fat shit! ughhh... so zen wen to bathe n i jus chatted wif him tokin cock haha so aft all bathed, smelt lyk roses. Tails came in n started lickin my hands n feet +D so cute haha! i tried to read abit of 1984 but yea aft tt gt distracted n started playin cards haha. started wif Dai di then gt abit annoyin cause pok kept winnin *but i won ONCE* haha so we switched to Bridge which was freakin fun la! at first we all had MAJOR difficulties learnin but we gt e hanggg of it n so we rocked! haha yay-ness...but sn aft the air con gt REALLY cold n zens brains froze. haha she was damn blur la! she started gettin mixed up wif clubc n spades.we had a good laugh out of that so yeaa, it was worth it ;) haha.

whoa sn we gt really tired n we were jus playin n havin pure fun laughin n tryin to fugure out who out idiotic partners were haha. then smeone said "hai i don feel lyk leavin" (wait maybe it was me) haha then we called shu to say that we were all tired n stale, lyk bread, so we wood meet her another tym =p haha so we ordered in Pizzaaaa from 62410241 aha *can u jus imagine e tune in ur head* one hawaiian n e other is sme chicken thing = so we each ate 4 slices! i cldnt cause i kena gasticitisssss DX so i ate 3 haha. so i wasted one slice... ahhhh of all e sinful things to do... =( watched Mr.Bean, see hw deprived we r, then realised it was tym to go hme =) so yes i called my mom n gt a lifetym lng lecture from her... =p aiya shes so weird. then today she msged me sayin "baby today u stay hme study, tml we go shoppin =)" haha seriously i cant understand adults too man...

aft we dined n fine-d our parents n played one last game of bridge, in e end poks mom was able to giv me & zen a lift the toa payoh interchange. SOOOO EMBARRASSINGGGG!! ugh i cannot cannot stand takin lifts from ppl cause i find it so horrible n terrible n terrifyin.. u can ask zen hw much i freakin out cause i hav a syndrome of meetin parents =p ya so in the end i was havin a heart attack in e car haha XD so i started huggin tt pillow thing , with styrofoam inside, n fell aslp for awhile... finally alighted at TP interchange n wen hme. me&zen had a lng conversation on e way hme, thinkin bout the whole day, n how we felt haha +D funky stuff tho haha orh wells then it ends there =) stayed up till @#$*%^% 2am to do WIKI SHIT !! hai then turned in for a goooods night rest X) <--- tts hw i slept.

hai i keep tellin peeps tt i donot lyk u anymore but ah shit who m i kiddin.im only kiddin wif myself n hw dumbs is tat? i noe ur tryin to confuse me by tellin sendin me all e wrng messages n signals. but yet im fallin for u lyk a foooool!ugh ur makin me feel so dumb!ur such an ass la.i hate u, no i don... heard this song in ur moms car...wait i forgot e lyrics haha but i wan2 noe if u feel e same way i feel for u.i noe u will nvr tell me, u wood prob jus say ur meetin smeone or tokin to someone.i guess i willl nvr noe who tt someone is.haha i noe it will nvr be me.

haha jus to say i forgot the poem! haha so yea ... sry for those who read till e last line haha... mayb i will try to make smt up sme tym in e ... year =p

Everythings so surreal _Even you_

2006-06-04T18:06:00.000+08:00

haha i will try a new font everytime to make things mre irritating =p orh wellsss... got so much things to say. recall. comment. bla... hai... we had a bowlin chalet on fri night, whoa scandal haha yea it was kinda successful in e end !! haha gt e impression that alot of ppl werent comin but the turnout was coolness haha +D we kinda slacked in the beginning cause me, zen, yew wiang [:)] went to study at e airport. din really study much cause we bitched bout stuff that shall nt b said here. mayb later la haha yaaa then we tried to read abit la.. failure = haha so we cam-whored all the way to e chalet =D so much fun ! haha but e fun shit gt better later.
wen we gt there, lots of ppl where there alrdy. so i kinda chilled wif zen n liz. yes we took pics once again haha! sry we cant help it! =( so we took all night and the sweetest thing happened!! haha the guys STARTED the fire =D ok "props" specially goes to [Adam, Darryl and Yew Liang] haha yes they deserve it =) then smt miraculous happened once again, the guys dominated the BBQ pit and , whoa listen to this, cooked for everyone ! ok maybeeee they wanted to eat first but i tot it was damn cool la haha.hmm then me, liz, anuaatr, darryl wen to buy plates&water but everything was madly over-priced and plates were scarce haha.so we went to e arcade. hw bored we are. well aft "winnin" sme coins, dar sponsored me n liz $0.50 each so we wen to play sme fighting game! +D then.. another miracle occurred. we suddenly had 20credits even tho we each put in 50cents! so we played till e cows came hme haha. i owned anuaar a few times!! haha.aft returnin, we chilled at e coach n watched X-men (one) . was cool man. aft watchin cool things we cut Davids cake! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!! UR FINALLY 18 ! well the cake was the mos yummilliciooousss cake evaaahhh, credtis goes to Liz&mom for their great taste n selection =D then shawn started "gypsying" n read our future compatability wif our present cuties. well mine din work out well cause our hearts were reserved to ourselves but i don trust shawns readins!! haha im nt supposed to believe in it anyways ;p
soon we went upstairs to furthur read love lives haha YL's ones wen veh well so did ho yuns haha mine failed consecutively!! ugh, forget it haha. then vic n e whole team came up to that room n watched this amazingly produced video (from cali&vic's inc.) of the saints family. i loved, adored, "worship" it. im quite "heng" that there were no unglam photos of me haha +D we watched laughed and left, we all hav our own copy!! yayyss! haha we stayed behind to tok bout e bowling teams progress n hw "much" acknowledgement e schs givin us&crap. AH screw it. soon aft our legs gt abittt "suan" so we left for a night walk ... to e playground where we spun ourselves crazyyy on this wonderful device !! it was really cool ! haha my brains almost shattered to smitterins...
hmm we proceeded back at 5am cause we were collapsing 1-by-1 on the playground floor. which is by right very umglam haha so we din wan2 disgrace ourselves furthur n headed back! suddenly zen lked at me n said "eh run back ? " so i did haha. then i saw David overtake us = wadeva la ! haha so later we heard a damn loud *literally* crash. ran back n saw nigel *peng* on e floor. well so i heard, zhen xiong saw me, zen, david, yi quan runnin so he too suggested to nigel to run. "seh" nigel prob cldnt see e chain n crashed straight into it. the rest shld b left unsaid as it is too graphic =p but i hope hes ok nw haha, it was so ... painfulll =O we returned n i bathed. slpt. snuggled wif cali on one bed. three heads to one pillow, zen, me , cali. haha "sad stuff" +D
nxt day we awakened to Davids "siren" home-made alarm clock = haha i woke up laughing cause it was so lame la !! haha he made the ambulance siren thing n wen round the whole chalet wakin ppl up haha ... sigh times lyk these i wonder if we can ever replace such wonderful captainSsss [u too vic] rushed out of e chalet, by then half of the ppl were MIA . prob wen hme while i was in dream land haha. oh ya thanks to darryl for offerin me & zen a ride hme ya? anyways while we waited for e shuttle we chatted ate chips then RAN lyk mad buffalows cause e bus wanted to abandon us haha. then we decided to lunch together at Raffles City. aft that we scattered X) wad a lovely ending to a lovely story aint it. well lovely things gt to end.hope there r mre outings to cme? really lk forward to all these stuff haha +D
today at CBC trng unc jeff brought cam to video =P i lked so retarded hahaa.. anyways e endin game bowled a 170. contented wif it but really miss bowlin so much!! ughh hahaha cant wait till e nxt tym i touch my ball haha +D yayness e old gang of a hang [haha it rhymes] r gg to badminton outin this thurs =) n i gt a date wif tara on tues. date wif piano teacher tml = hahaha... so many dates ... yet unattached, no link la loser haha =D

i dreamt we help hands, i can still remember hw it felt.so real, ur skin against mine.so simple yet it meant so much.but yet, its only a dream.i cant help fallin for u, i hope this feelin will go away, one day... soon.even if i wan it to stay.my feelings for u r so surreal,felt lyk i was spinnin on tt playground device.nothing else mattered except ur presence.ugh ... u suck!

cause ur nt worth it...

2006-06-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

i seriously hate e font selection here, its horrid =p
orh wells i guess smtyms ppl r even oblivious to themselves. not takin note that their actions may get on ppls nerves. that i cant comment... smtyms u gt to step out of ur OWN world n take note that there r others arnd u. that made me so pissed. ur comments r ALLLL about you you you you you. i mean NOW ur facin reality, its NOT all bout YOU. i figured that out sme tym ago n suppressed my whines and self-absorbed complaints because honestly, nobody likes to hear complaints. its annoyin, not pleasant to the ears u get wad i mean ?!
u say i don see ur tryin, i do. it seemed perfectly fine on e way to e beach, while we strolled with e flat-tired bikes. but aft that u started to get all whiny again. i tried to tolerate wen u suggested Elis run while we cycle back... but aft that ur little actions added on.ur "princess" like actions and blunt remarks on Elis's attempts on e bike,seriously made my impression of u worse.
sayin i hav a nice family...alrdy tells me that ur attemptin to "understand" my family background...and ur obviously wrng. i do nt wish to bring up my familys past cause it was a hurtful one.
STILL think ur e only one with a depressing past?
oh yes b4 i forget, who said im askin u to be lyk me, cause honestly speakin, i wldnt lyk a person who is a carbon copy of me, i wood think thats rather annoyin... wldnt you?
that fateful day wen ur sandals burst, i noe u cldnt help, i understood that. I myself felt embarrassed for askin for ur assistance. but did u hav to stand there n whine bout "how stuffy it is" and how "badly u needed to pee, my urines coming out". i even said to u ... if u wan to leave LEAVE! the gates open ... jus "push" and go. i was feelin hot too, stuffy...yes it was. but cld u nt see i was alrdy strugglin with e bikes?my patience was alrdy being tested by immobile objects and that fine day i was pms-ing. sheesh... where did e manners go?!
Try askin round dude, i do not snap or bluntly comment on ppl for no particular reason. i control and shut up. i neither speak nor flare, so wen i do, i guess its jus u.
well im sry if u tried n i din see and i tried but u din see.. then i guess we r jus blind to each other n thats a pretty OBVIOUS sign that we CANNOT [repeat] CANNOT ... click =) that im willin to accept that haha...i do not wish to clap.
well since THATS outa my system... my oh my... doesnt e font selection lk abit better now haha =) todays entry's gg to b lng =p hmm gt caught for eatin chips on e train. she wanted to summon me la !! haha so weirdo rite... then these two weirdos came along n pointed their scrawny fingers at me and said "ya ya i saw her eatin jus nw!! ya i saw too!! " walao ... these ppl veh sabo hor haha ... i seem to attract annoyin n weird ppl... wen back to sch to do sme work n saw sme really cool photos of e bowling team =) hai tearsss... miss e J2s so so so much. wanted w pix so desperately! but cldnt send! haha ahhh ... u noe photog mite nt put e pics on e SAJC website! thats lyk damn insultin to all e hard work, effort, training we put in to win MEDALS man!! give us sme credit lor... *rolls eyes* haha thats soo bimbo la ...
TARAAAA i miss miss miss u so much ya ?! haha ban mian nvr tasted that goood haha... i guess we really hav alot less tym to spend wif each other since u wen to poly =( sad case... well don forget out date nxt nxt mon ya? bring me to ur poly there to makan ahah =D don ever worry cause i will nvr forget u babess hahah ;)
i will forget u cause ur nt worth it.
ur never there for me, so y do i still waste my tym hanging over u.

understand y sme ppl don understand y u understand... understand?

2006-05-30T09:54:00.000+08:00

hai nw i realise that i have much mre installed for me for the june hols... not only do i hav lots of things to catch up on but i also hav CA's coming n honestly, i haven started :p as good as dead huh? hope i still hav tym to "mug" and do well cause seriously cant fail CAs man... don wan2 lk dumb...
back to yest ! haha we bowled South Zone, personally i don feel i did up to expectations but ah heck it cause our team won second !! the cool dudes include, in order of our names on e name sheet, Elis Edi, Reqira Yim (yim-ster), zen tan (the only normal one) and Reqira Rodricks (which is me). i cant believe they can get a SIMPLE, fool-proof name like REGINA wrngly and TWICE in the same team but yet get the most tricky surname rite ... i don believe it hahah... +D haha we lost to our very own SA team =) so it doesnt really matter. my teammate Regina Yim did terribly well n came in first overall but sadness that theres no masters or extra trophy xp no wrys Reginaa haha we all noe u rock pins socks yest !! hahaah ahhh was stayin back to watch the guys bowl and DAMN they did well too +D it was a tense fight for first with ACS(I) haha, but duh we wood win la ... so yea we won :) 1st and 2nd for both girls and guys, man we'r goooood ;) aft that we lugged everything to city link there and all eyes were on Cali for carrying that gigantic trophy and for once i felt bowlers were not lked on as lame ppl but ppl with ability to win smt and be special... usually we wood get the same LAME lines like "see you in Australia" and "whats with the luggage?" but nw an ex-saint actually approached us and asked if SAINTS won that trophy...
the answer : yessssssss and believe it =)
anywaysss yest was interesting and all but nw im in sch havin to face sme retarded PPL !!! i bet sme frens wood understand ... i can swear ppl don GET it that during this season i will be missing lotsa sch due to competition ... but nooo sme demand work and threaten to fail me somemore... damn u la asss ... even aft i explain she still doubts me i bet she nw feels differently bout me alrdy loo ... so unreasonable :
gg to leave sch sn to go airport to study and get sme work done? hai ...feel so shit that our whole clique cant hav a proper reunion together. always a few MIA , sad case la .. today only shu, me, zen pok coming ... billys presense is there but hes somewhere else in the building welcoming his bro back to spore +D happy story ... hahah oh anyways i really hope that nothing goes terribly wrng wif my emotions nw cause i find it so hard to control my feelings... oooo no thats bad la haha =P
aiya im gg off to e airport nw, jus handed in my work and crap, hope she doesnt feel too biased against me and FAIL me !! #@*^& it then hahah ... i noe she sucks anyways >.<

i remember the time when i saw u and u saw me under the apple tree where fruits don grow ...

whoa first entry ... cool :p

2006-05-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

haha man! e font selection sucks huh ? hahaa firstly im supposed to b doin lit CA nw but obviously gettin a blog is sooo "impt" ... so i had to do this first hahah. seriously i need to get my priorities straight =p ahhh heck it FOR THE MOMENT ! haha ... oh wells since the name of the blog ... its kinda "duh" that i hav smt to say =)

For sme reason i am unable to accept u as a person and ur personality cause i think we clash. i mean hw can u be so inconsiderate and jus stand there and complain when there i am feelin bad enuf to ask u guys for help wif my bike. so since i carried e second bike by myself, cld u at least jus "zip-it" ! ugh ... honestly i don snap at ppl n i try my EXTREME best to keep my emotions n objections hidden but my tolerance level dips to an ultimate low when im arnd u cause i cannot jus listen to all ur complains and whinin which are kinda annoyin to me. sry dudette, but ur a little spoilt man. i thot I was spoilt *sheesh* ... i know if sme ppl read this they might feel im being too insensitive and blunt but i hav be honest instead of hypocritical and speak behind ur back...

throughout the whole cycling trip i tried (really) to b nice and keep the relationship mutual but things u said showed me that u were purely self-obsessed and had no concern for friends. when Elis was learnin to cycle, did u hav to add comments to make her feel mre helpless... cld u nt see she was tryin , so hard?! and wad seriously shocked me was when u suggested she jog back while we cycle... mayb u meant it as a joke but, it jus din seem veh funny to me. im also really sry if i sent u wrng vibes wen we first started off as frens cause i guess it was a KC vs TKGS thing but aft that, i really attempted to start over wif u but e attempts proved to be futile.

oh anyways ... i've said enuf. today bowling at CBC was funky shit la haha ... duno wth i was doin man ... daddy changed me to 5 steps =p but its ok gettin used to it ... feel mre organized n shit.aw man the turn out for trng is dippin leh, today was rather gd haha 8 ppl came, thats goood alrdy so no arguments there haha=D anyways, at the end of trng we bowled two game :195. 167 im contented =) but still freaked for South Zone tml cause victors nt really a gd area for me, don do well there la ! =( come on team we can do it ! hahaha Regina.yim, zen, elis, moi hahah ... lets try our best-est hahah.
hmm since my entry gt editted by itself i cant remember wad i wrote jus nw = aiyaaa hahah ... hmm lets see wad other crap i blurted out. oh yaa i was tokin bout all the CA work i have to do la ..but i guess i will do sme of it tml cause my darned printer DIED on me !!! i hope that stupid thing hears me cause im bitching bout it even tho its rite nxt to me !! conked up thing have to break down on me when the CA's started =p hai ... ph wells gotta slp nw , tired even tho i slpt e aftnn away haha love nappin la !! haha so cool XD alrightttty then im offf zzzz -__-

i still think n miss u... altho u will nvr noe cause ur such an ___ :p. i tell muself that i hav to forget n that i hav forgotten but thats jus denial.

aww man this place needs work and lots of improvement... whew a few days time, this is gg to b coolness ! yeaaaa +D aiyooo so plainnn... ughh !! haha